Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Getting the Family Back Together

Tomorrow night, we should be one big happy family again! Tom is taking the train back from NYC again tonight at 8 PM. I'll be picking him up then. Tom has tomorrow and Friday off. I'll be working, but he'll be picking Phoebe up from his parents tomorrow during the morning, and coming back after dinner.

I talked to her on the phone last night and it was too funny. She was telling me she missed me, but then she'd get distracted watching "102 Dalmations." I was talking to my MIL when she was watching the movie. Then Phoebe started getting annoyed, "Mommy why do you keep talking to Ma when I'm not talking?" So my MIL got off the other phone, and within a minute, Phoebe was done talking to me. I guess she just wanted to have my undivided attention. Go figure.

I'm on the downswing on my old job and officially will be on my new job in the company on Friday. I will be turning in my pager on Friday!!!!! No pagers in Marketing!!! My new boss was just here and I showed him some pictures of Phoebe and Tom on my blog and he was saying that he needs someone to make some updates to our department's website and that he wants to add a lot more content, training material, etc. I would love to do that!!! I know this is going to be great.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Two Week Wait

We now begin the boring end of the month, the two week wait. According to my temp chart, I ovulated yesterday, which is exactly what I believed. I felt ovulation pains in the afternoon, and last night my breasts were much fuller and sensitive.

What made me really happy is that I believe Tom is OK with the fact that I'm still trying to get pregnant. He asked me in the car to tell him honestly if I was. I told him yes, but that I was trying not to obsess about it. I think I mostly am trying not to have it drive me nuts is because I'm convinced it will happen. Then last night after I picked him up from the train back from NYC, I told him I was ovulating. By the time we got to bed it was really late, but he still made sure he convinced me we should have some fun. I think secretly he wants more children too, but doesn't want to put too much pressure on me.

I found a new store I like to go to. It's the Newark Natural Foods Co-op. Great place. I was able to buy bulk herbal teas, like red clover, and red raspberry leaf. They had a wall full of them. Also bought some raw pumpkin seeds for snacking and two vegetarian dry soup bowls, you know the kind you add water to and let sit for a few minutes. It'll help me get a decent lunch in with the traveling between the different sites for work. It's been hard, as I'm so used to being able to have my lunch in the fridge. On top of that, they had tons of organic produce, bulk food products like red and green lentils(yeah!!!), and vials of herb tinctures and aromatherapy oils. All the prices were very reasonable too, as they are a non-profit shop. I'll definately be seen in this store more often.

Well I'm off to run to my acupuncture session. Time to relax and feel the baby vibes.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Pictures from the NYC Trip

I finished posting all the pics from the NYC trip. Next time I'll start from the end and post backward. Otherwise when all is said and done, you get the story backwards. So if you look at the pics, please scroll to the bottom and make your way up. They did all go in the correct order from Saturday evening into Sunday morning and the trip home on Sunday afternoon.

We all had a great time and Phoebe was so tired we let her stay home on Monday from school and catch up on her sleep.

We're currently having a long, child-free weekend. Phoebe decided on Thursday she wanted to go and stay at "Ma and Da's house" (Tom's parent's). They have a pool, swings, slide, sandbox, popsicles, and ice cream sandwiches. And she's going with her cousin's to the NJ shore for the day on Monday. Without us. Yeah, she loves us.....

Phoebe running on train. Tom carrying her stuff behind.

Phoebe repacking her bag on the train ride home.

Phoebe just needs to get a little taller to take a better picture of Mommy and Daddy.

Phoebe took this picture at Rockefeller center.

Another of Phoebe's artistic photographs from a NYC park.

Phoebe in another NYC Park

Our budding photographer, Phoebe, took this picture of the Empire State Building.

Phoebe at FAO Schwarcz

Tom and Phoebe in Central Park.

Phoebe in Central Park

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

New York City Girl - Part 1

As you can see I am a narcissistic infertile and I've been playing with different pictures of me to post on my blog, so people know if they found someone they know when they read my blog. This joy was brought to you by me finally sitting down last night and getting the digital camera to be able to download to the rebuilt laptop. I really wanted this so that I could show you all pictures of Phoebe and us from our NYC trip.

So with no futher ado, stories of Kid in the City. As you all heard I found out Phoebe had a bottom tooth loose at the train station before we left for New York. What I haven't written about yet is how the coach tickets were sold out, and finding two seats together was really hard. Luckily, we were able to score two seats across from each other. The other two people who were sitting there were a married couple probably in their late-30s. They were very nice and chatted a bit with us about cooking, food, and things to do in NYC. Phoebe was polite and cute. I couldn't have asked for anything more. When asked by the husband what her favorite foods were, she answered, "Lobster and crab." Very true and very cute.

Tom picked us up at the train station and helped us take the subway back to the hotel. We then went and found a place to eat. It was hideous. Never go to Mars 2112 and expect to get decent food. The kids will like the aliens that walk around, but you will hate the food. Thankfully, it was the only bad meal we had.

The next day Phoebe and I went to the American Girl store near Rockefeller Center. Then we walked to Central Park. We walked the whole way there and back to the hotel. Phoebe really learned to be a great walker. In Central Park, we went to Victorian Gardens and rode the kiddie rides, found the carousel, and a playground that had water for the kids to play in and a huge sand pit. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of Phoebe to show from the fun we had before we met Tom back at the hotel when his work was done. So I show you this one of Phoebe back at home wearing the ballerina costume we bought at the American Girl store.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Moms and Blogging

We interrupt my updates on the fabulous NYC weekend to tell you I just read the most incredible blog entry from my Internet-friend Andi. It completely explained why I started reading her blog in the first place when I had my daughter, Phoebe, a year after she had her daughter, Emi. It also explains why I bought her book, Mothershock and loved every minute of reading it.

I need these women to keep me sane. To understand that the thoughts that run through my head every day make sense. Every blog I link to (and haven't gotten around to setup links to yet) say something to me. It doesn't matter if the woman is infertile for the first time, has secondary infertility, likes yoga, likes to cook, is a working mom, or a stay at home mom. These women speak to me about their lives and help me deal with mine on a very personal level. We tell each other things we can't discuss face to face with friends, mothers, and sisters. We all are much more compassionate on-line than we are to each others faces. I know there are some women out there that like to send nasty comments sometimes, but in a general sense, we are very supportive of each other in our endeavors to live happy lives.

And I thank you all for the support we give each other and for sharing your lives with me.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

No Longer My Baby

We're back from NYC. I have lots to tell, but I'm exhausted from it all. The first thing I can think of best to say is that my baby is definately no longer my baby. We were waiting at the train station to go to NYC and she directed my attention to the fact she thought a tooth was loose. I thought she was crazy. How could my 4 1/2 year old be loosing a tooth already! She showed me the tooth and I felt it. It wiggled, it wobbled, it didn't fall down ... yet, but it will soon. A rush of emotions went over me. I can't believe she's hitting this milestone so quick. Her older cousins are just starting to lose their teeth. My mom confirmed tonight that I lost my first tooth, a bottom one just like Phoebe, when I was 4 1/2.

Other than that we had a great weekend. I can't wait to put it all down for posterity. I feel good though, that I was able to relax and live in the moment. If only I could always be so lucky. But why can I cry at the drop of a hat from being so blissfully happy in being her mommy???

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

The Temp Dropped

Don't be silly! It's over 90 degrees here! I meant my BBT dropped. I guess AF will show up tomorrow. I'm really not sure. I've never had my temp drop before I got my period. Usually my period used to show up before my temps dropped. So we'll see.

Went to the acupuncturist this morning. We talked about my PMS and whether or not she wanted to change my formula to something other than what her husband has had me on. She took my pulse for a really, really, long time. We talked about how tired I was feeling and my pulse was weak. She did change my formula, so we'll see how that goes.

Tom's out of town on business for the rest of the week, so tonight Phoebe and I are going to the Italian festival in Wilmington. We're meeting her friend Isabelle and her mom, we'll do some rides, and then get a bite to eat. Phoebe is excited to try some cotton candy. She's never had it before and during the winter I told her that they have it at this festival. It was the first thing she remembered she wanted in going there. She's got such a one track mind - food!

Sunday, June 12, 2005

The Morning Lasted All Day

We had such a great day today. One of my favorite lines from music is the Dream Acadamy’s “Life in a Northern Town.” It goes, “And the morning lasted all day….all day.” I so understand what that line means and feel sometimes it is so nice to aspire to them. A day where you really don’t notice time passing, you feel like it could go on forever. Today was just like that.

It was an ordinary Sunday with the in-laws just like any other day. We went to my sister-in-laws, and Phoebe was playing in the backyard with her cousins. Then Tom decided go outside and play a game with the kids. They seemed to call it Dinosaur Tag. Tom ran around the backyard pretending to be a dinosaur, he’d grab the kids and put them in his lair until one of the other kids ran over and tagged the one out of the lair. What was really funny was how he hung Phoebe upside down by her ankles and she loved every minute of it.

Then we went to Tom’s parents and Phoebe decided to strip down to her underwear and play with the hose and making sand-mud (they live in the Pine Barrens in NJ, and the dirt is really just sand). Her Aunt Nicki took the hose and started squirting her all over, she begged for more, and more, and more. She went home in one of her Aunt’s t-shirts which fit her like a dress. Phoebe fell asleep in the car before we got home she was so tired.

I’m just waiting for when my old friend Aunt Flo is coming back to visit. I’ve been so cranky today and able to cry at the drop of a hat. I’m going to have to have a little conversation with my acupuncturist about my PMS emotional issues.

Unbelievably Hot!

I can't believe how hot it is! It turned into August right after spring. We've got temperatures in the mid to high 90s. But we're having a good weekend.

Yesterday was a very busy day. Phoebe had a playdate with her friend Isabelle in the morning. We took the girls to the library (nice air conditioned), the playground (unbelievably hot), and then to have some lunch. Then we went back to their house and let the girls play dress up a little bit. We had to run back home and get ready to go to the neighbors. The twins next door that are Phoebe's age had their 5 th birthday party. Thank God they had a pool. Everyone was either in the house or in the pool. We opted for the pool. It was fun to watch all the kids playing in the pool. It was one of those calm, happy moments. The way you wish things could always be with everyone playing and happy. Tom and I went out for dinner after that with some friends.

I think AF will be coming soon. I can feel it. If she comes in the next few days. It will still be very early. We'll see what happens.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Ate Too Much

We went out to Don Pablo's tonight for their Wednesday fajita special, and don't forget the strawberry margaritas! I got too full tonight.

Then we came home and I setup VPN access to work on the new Windows XP laptop, as the other one is two days older than dirt. I then proceeded to work for about an hour and a half. Hopefully, tomorrow at work I'll feel more caught up. I need to have more time to catch up on my new job.

Acupuncture was nice yesterday. She also placed some heat over the belly areas that had needles in them. I have to admit the one thing nice is that my boobs don't hurt post-ovulation. This is a good thing. They used to be pretty bad. You couldn't go anywhere near them. The book I've been reading, The Infertility Cure, says that is the sign of an imbalance, if they hurt. I can't remember which imbalance.

I'm exhausted now, so I'm going to go upstairs stretch a little bit, and go to bed with a good book. Good night!

Monday, June 06, 2005

Just Follow Directions

Rough day with some good spots. Lots of hard work. I'll probably need to connect into work tonight to get some more stuff done. It got me frustrated several times. Left work on time though, as I needed a break.

Here's the good stuff....Went to yoga class at lunch (at the work gym). It was fantastic. Lots of hip openers and knee strengtheners. I needed it as my lower back has been kind of painful. I got to wear the fantastic new outfit that I bought this weekend. And to top it all off, the stereo in my car that hasn't been working since Friday afternoon, magically started working again on the way home. It's had this message to "WAIT" when I try to turn it on. So I'd turn it off and think, "Oh well, it's still not working. Turn it off. See if it works later." This morning I decided to follow directions and WAIT. I just left it on. I don't know if it was asking for the security code by the time I got to work, but when I was leaving the office, it was asking for the code, accepted it, and then started to play beautiful music!

Now I need to go clean my house, do some work from home tonight (maybe with wine), and get up early tomorrow, to get everyone to train (Tom NYC), school, and then I'll be going in for acupuncture at 9 AM tomorrow.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Another Conflicted Frustrated Working Mom

Let's not get into the semantics of the title about don't all Moms work.

Anyway, work is kicking my ass right now. I'm working late in the office tonight as some of my macros in Microsoft Project don't work when I connect via VPN from home. Tom's taking Phoebe to the movies to see Madagascar, so they are having fun without me.

We have a huge merger computer systems implementation at the end of July, and all the backend server implementations I'm responsible for need to happen by July 1 in order for the application development teams to do what they need to do. Did I mention that this was my old job, and that I'm transitioning out of Technical Operations to Marketing? I don't think I've given the update that the Executive Leadership Team discussed my transition that was supposed to occur on June 12th and decided I can't move on until July 1, as we had some last minute changes to the network design that is going to cause us to do a lot of rework in server builds. Ahhhhhh!!!!

I'm agreeable to do this as it is for the best of the company, and I do want to continue to have a company so I can be gainfully employed. So if this is what it takes to make the merger of the computer systems successful, I'll do it. But it is a huge undertaking. I know it's going to take some time from my personal life to make sure these last minute design changes and systems rework occur in such a short timeframe, but I guess I should look on the upside, and that fixing this will have me leave in a blaze of glory!

So if I don't seem to leave too many comments on my few readers blogs, you'll know what I'm up to. I'll be trying to keep up on the what's going on in your life, but I know I'll be pressed for time to be able to put my two cents in. I'll also probably be writing mostly over the next few days about the people at work I refrained from killing today in order to vent off some steam.

So for those who read my blog, you can now tell that I am a Project Manager in an Information Technology department for a financial institution that is in the process of a merger of computer systems. As well as being Phoebe's Mom, Tom's wife, a yogini (Iyengar yoga), and trying not to call myself infertile (power of positive thinking).