Friday, July 29, 2005

Not Yet and Yeah for Fair Trade

Yesterday as I posted before, I was starting to feel my usual PMS symptoms. So I took a nice warm bath last night, gave myself a mani/pedicure, and read my latest Us magazine. Yes I love trashy gossip, especially this Angelina Jolie stuff. I don't get that either. She's such a pretty lady, but even in hot places like Africa and California, she dresses in all black. What's up with that???

Anyway, I got a good night's sleep last night and I felt much better this morning. I got to exercise on the eliptical machine and got of to work without a hitch. I've had good energy today with the exception of after lunch I was getting a little sluggish. No tummy issues at all today, thank God. And if you look at my chart, my temp hasn't dipped yet. Now it is still too early and it might in the next two or three days, but it ain't over til the fat lady sings.

I have a new coffee shop I found and am in love with. It's around the corner from my office and they only sell fair trade coffee, the prices are still reasonable, and they make a fantastic cup of cappucino. I know I'm trying to get PG, but coffee is still my only vice and I love a cup in the morning during my 9 AM meetings as well as a break at 3 PM, so I think I found my new hang out. If you're ever in Wilmington, DE they are the Perky Bean Cafe.

So this weekend we'll be doing some serious painting getting ready to put this house on the market. Tom took the day off today and he's been working on the ceilings. God, that man is great!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

BTW

I still have no update on my Nan. They won't have the results from the biopsy until Friday or Monday. My mom will call my cell as soon as she knows. Also at this point she isn't a candidate for surgery. Her current lung capacity isn't that great. The doctor put her on some inhalers in order to increase it so she may be able to become a candiate. Otherwise we're dealing with radiation and chemo, but at the size of the mass (4 cm) it would only prolong her life.

Other scary thing is I found out they also did an MRI/Cat scan (not sure which) of her brain to see if there is any metatastisizing to her brain. It's just in case in turns out to be malignant they would already know what's going on there.

Ughh

I'm not sure what's going on if I'm starting to have my fun PMS symptoms or if I'm just not feeling well for any other reason.

Last night I was tired. Today I'm tired. Throat a little sore. Had nasty diarrea after lunch today. Hope that was from the Chinese food I had from lunch. If it is, I will never go to that place again. However, these are all symptoms I have in my version of PMS. My temp hasn't dropped yet. I'm not really due until Wednesday if I can hold out for a LP of 14 days, but if it's still not fixed I could have a visit from AF by Sunday or Monday.

We'll just have to wait and see what the weekend has in store for me.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Update from Phoebe's Mom

Two great events yesterday... the site meeting for the house we're building and Phoebe is swimming a little with no swimmies. She's definately swimming, 'cause she can't touch the bottom!

The site meeting for the house was great. Found out we can have a rear walkout basement instead of a side walkout basement. They are also going to break ground next week. We have another meeting with the designer lady on Sunday to finalize the options we are going with and to write the last check (for now). We've decided we want to just have all the front rooms carpeted. We'll put in the hardwood floors later. The markup from the builder is just too much. We know we can get a better price without using them.

We picked up Phoebe from her grandparents again! I swear they'd steal her if they could. She spent most of the time swimming the past few days. We were told that yesterday she did try to swim a little twice without any swimmies on and she did very well.

I've got a lot of work to do here at work, and then I'll be leaving early to get us home for dinner and then to ice skating by 6:30 PM. Tom took the train to NYC today, so we'll be picking him up from the train station at 8 PM.

That's all from this neck of the globe...

Monday, July 25, 2005

Monday Meme

Monday Meme 10 : 2005-07-25 : List Three

1. List three things on your desk:

water bottle, picture of my DH and DD, cup of coffee.

2. List three things you are wearing:

blue no-sleeve shirt, beige pants, black sandals.

3. List the last 3 things you ate:

walnuts, pumpkin seeds, coffee.

4. List the last 3 people you touched:

DH (Tom), DD (Phoebe), and DD2 (Corona, which is my dog, not DD which is dear daughter).

5. List three things you'd love to own:

Our new house we're building, an Apple laptop, Canon SLR camera.

I was the 69th person to take this week's Monday Meme!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Nan Not Well

I just found out my Nan (mom's mom) has a mass in her lung. They are doing a biopsy via needle on Monday to validate if it's malignant, but they quite believe it is. If it is, they'll send her to Philly to the University of Pennsylvania Hospital. Mom asked (after I offered, she was hoping) her and my aunt will be able to stay with us to be with Nan. We're only 30 minutes from Philly. They all live 3 hours from here. Please pray for my Nan. I'm not ready to let her go yet. Her sister, my Aunt Joan, just passed last year from a long battle with breast cancer. These ladies have both been a big impact in my life.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Phoebe's Four Wishes

We had to go to the mall tonight to buy a baby shower gift for Tom's sister. I gave Phoebe 4 pennies to throw into the fountain at the mall and make wishes. She told us she made the following wishes: ice cream, popcicles, chocolate, and to go to Ma's house (Tom's Mom). We didn't have the heart to tell her the rule that if you tell someone what you wished for it wouldn't come true. How can you hurt the feelings of a cute girl with cute wishes???

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Feelin' So Good

I'm starting to feel more hopeful than ever that I will one day be pregnant on my own, without ART. As discussed in a previous post, even though my last cycle was a little messed up, my acupuncturist and I decided to stay the course and see what happens this month. I have to admit I've been a little worried, as my pre-ovulation BBTs have been pretty high for me (around 97.7 degrees). However, yesterday AM we started to turn a curve. My temps started going lower and today continued that trend. I can't wait to see if I ovulate on day 14 or if for some reason it goes longer.

The main reason I'm feeling so good, is that on Monday at yoga class, I actually got a vision of me being in class pregnant and felt that it would happen sometime soon (and it wasn't because there was anyone pregnant in class to make me feel that way). But I felt so strong, young, and competent. I didn't have that old, crone, infertile feeling that usually pervades me. And I'm not saying that if your infertile that you're old. It's just that I think some of my unexplained infertility is psychological, which is something Julia Indichova talks about in her book. I know sometimes I look at my life and feel so old, like the new-ness of everything is gone. That's why even if I don't become pregnant, it won't bother me. One of my goals is just to remember that I'm young and vital. Some women don't even get married until they're my age. This feeling has persisted the last few days, so I'm going with it. I feel quite rejuvinated.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Moving Along

We made some progress in Casa de Joys getting the house ready to be put on the market. We officially started working on the basement yesterday, cleaning the walls before we start painting and then putting up the frame and drywall. We ran out of the cleaner we found for the walls, and now we can't find it. Tom's going to go out at lunch today to see if he can find it again. We also bought a dehumidifier for the basement and it's doing a good job of sucking up the water out of the basement air.

We're going to be picking up Phoebe tonight from her grandparents. She weaseled her way to stay longer. She really loves it there.

Tom and I rented some movies last night. We watched Sideways after we finished as much wall washing as we had cleaner for. It was pretty funny. In keeping with the movie theme, we opened a nice bottle of wine.

Well, I have a lot to do here at work, and I better get cracking.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Mmmmmm

Mmmmmmm..... Tom came home last night. V. v. v. nice. We're Phoebe-less tonight, so we're going to the movies. I really am a very lucky girl.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Proud Mama

Phoebe had her ice skating class last night and she's doing very well. I'm so proud, my heart could burst. She started ice skating classes in January this year. She has progressed so well very quickly. Last night they were learning the first step in cross-overs, as well as beginning to learn to pick up one foot while gliding. She's not as good in the latter as she was with cross-overs. When she had extra practice time with me, she was trying to do them while skating and holding my hand. I think what I like the most is that she's having fun with it, learning how to do things with her physical being and that it can be fun. We don't have her signed up for anything else other than ice skating, and she does yoga with me a home. I'd rather have her focus on one activity and give it her all if she likes it. The liking it is very important. Every week I feel so sorry for this one little girl. Her mom makes her practice the whole 1/2 hour of free time on the ice, and she never has a smile on her face. She always acts like practice is such a chore. The other thing that was really nice is that Phoebe's first ice skating teacher was talking to her last night. Phoebe showed her what she was learning in class, and the teacher said to both of us, "Keep that up and you'll be a fantastic skater!" I'm sure she says that to a lot of kids, but the look on her face while she said that told me that she really meant it. It's always great to hear someone else say our kids are fabulous!

Tom's been away all week. He's coming home tonight. We all miss him terribly. We're having company for dinner tonight. Tom's brother, wife, and two kids are on their way back from vacation in Virginia, so we told them to stop by for dinner. I have no idea what we're having, but we'll figure it out.

I was so tired last night, after ice skating I just got us some berries for dessert and we both went to bed. Phoebe didn't fall asleep until much later. I did have her sleep in her own bed last night instead of Tom's spot in my bed. This way I could relax, lay in bed with a glass of wine, and watch Bridget Jones's Diary for the thousandth time. I love Colin Firth's character, Mark Darcy, in this movie/books. I swear I'm addicted. I love the little smiles he makes here and there... v. sexy. I think I also like Mark Darcy because he is so my DH, minus the wavy hair. DH's is straight but dark. And I so often feel like Bridget. Sometimes I feel like they are acting out our life on screen, just with different stories. I am the flaky, ungraceful one. Tom is the tall, dark, and handsome, arrogant, pain-in-the butt, yet so lovable and romantic one.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

TCM Update

I went to the acupuncurist today and we discussed my confused hormones. We decided to stay the current course of action for another month. The thought is that the herbs are trying to clean the junk out. I decided based on my reading to add a few more things. So for those curious my list of herbs/supplements are as follows (BTW, this may sound excessive, but this is OK according to "The Infertility Cure"):

Breakfast & Dinner
  • 3 spoons Tang Kui herbs
  • GNC Women's Ultra Mega multivitamin
  • Vitamin E - 400 IU
  • Vitamin C - 1000 mg
  • (2) Hyporil (supplement for low blood sugar)
  • (3) Sheng Fa Wan (for nails, hair, and blood supplement)
  • Omega-3 supplement
  • (2) Evening Primrose Oil - 500mg* (will only take before ovulation)
  • (2) Acidophilus - 1 billion CPU*
  • Vitex - 500mg (morning only)
  • Royal Jelly - 625mg* (morning only)
Lunch
  • (3) Tang Kui tablets
  • Vitamin C - 1000mg
  • (2) Acidophilus - 1 billion CPU*
* New addition this month
We'll see how the addition of these items go this month, as well as the continuation of the herbs. I was thinking of starting to take False Unicorn Root again, but I think I'm going to see how things are going without it.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Boo and Yeah!!!

Boo - my temp dipped this morning. AF is starting to appear this evening. LP was way too short this month. I need to figure out how to fix this.

Yeah!!! - heard from B & K today. Their six-week ultrasound showed a very strong heartbeat. 160 bps. Go baby!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Shock, Horror, and Dismay

Today is one of those days that makes me amazed that the human race hasn't killed itself off yet. I am disappointed that there is so much hatred harbored in some people's hearts that they need to hurt and kill innocent people in order to protest a meeting that is about ways to eradicate poverty and AIDS from this world. Granted these are the leaders of the world's richest countries and they may not agree on how to do this, but, man, they are at least trying! And yes, I am one of those few folks out there that has been wearing their white ONE bracelet for about a month now; I have signed the petition; and I'm pissed that because of this I might never fully know if my voice was heard as this is a huge distraction.

But here's the interesting part, "Do I hate the terrorists that cause this pain in our world?" Not really. As a person, and more importantly a Mom, I feel sorry for them that they have been brought up to believe that this is how to accomplish something. I feel sorry that they can't look in every human beings face and see a beauty and grace that needs to be preserved, instead of destroyed. This is just another incident that makes me dedicate my yoga practice every day to those that cannot feel peace in their hearts. I hope we all can keep this in mind instead of trying to find what is the next country we need to bomb, because that is not how these terrorists can be stopped. There is no country, no home for these people. They are everywhere. All we can do is try to be good to each other and hold our existence out as a shining beacon everywhere to how we should all treat each other. We need to keep this in mind in all aspects of our life. It's why I don't get mad at traffic anymore, or my husband, or my disfunctional parents. We are all just trying to get along in this world the best way we know how. Enjoy the moments, every one.

On another topic, I don't know how optimistic I am about this cycle. I know we caught all the right days, but I don't have any kind of a pretty tri-phastic temp chart they love to see on the Fertility Friend circles. I know you don't need one to be pregnant, but it would make me feel better about the progress. Well, I only have 4 more days to wait it out. I'm due for AF on Monday. I'm not even bothing to think about POAS until I'm overdue by at least a day. I don't want to waste my money.

I can't wait to go home tonight! My new cell phone and service arrived at home today!!! Tom's working from home, so I got to call him for status on the arrival of the package. I'm such a geek. I got a Treo 650 with the data package from Verizon Wireless, so I'll be able to access the Internet and blog from anywhere, as well as have my schedule, contacts, notes, and cell phone service. Woo Hoo!!!

I want to make sure I call my BIL and his wife tonight to let them know that I heard about there status and to let them know I'm thinking of them tomorrow. Hopefully, they will have good news.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Also Waiting For News

BTW, I'm constantly waiting for news from two of my favorite infertiles. One is Danae, I hope our huge group of prayers are heard by the infinite and answered very quickly.

The other is for my brother-in-law and his wife in Wisconsin. B and K have one daughter 6 months older than Phoebe that was a miracle in itself. She was put on glucophage and got pregnant the first month with Beth. She also knows the pain of miscarriage from last year. We found out this weekend she is 5 weeks along again and spotting. The doctors say everything is fine and they believe the spotting is fine and explainable, but she's on a modified bed rest until her 6 week ultrasound this Friday. Let's all pray they get to see a fantastic strong little heartbeat!

Weekend Update

It was so nice having us all together again, although I have to say this morning was hard getting everyone out the door. I now sit here wondering how I can make it through this week to find out if this month's babymaking worked or not. I have been so good this month: keeping my caffeine intake low, taking my TCM herbs, going to acupuncture every week, eating the right foods, keeping the stress level low, doing yoga and other moderate exercise. Right now for my afternoon snack I'm having Red Rasperry Leaf Tea, some walnuts, pumpkin seeds, and dried apricots. I've turned into a nut!!! But at this point I believe it will all work someday and that's all that matters.

We had a great weekend, relaxed at home a little, finalized (we believe) the home options for the new house, and went to the in-laws for the 4th. Phoebe played in her grandparents pool most of the day, and even held one of her distant baby cousins for a long time. He's about 5 months old now. He even spit up on her and she still was OK holding him. I unfortunately don't have pictures of that. I do have some pictures of Phoebe jumping through the sprinkler at home on Sunday as we were all just hanging out. She had a great time. I'll need to post those from home.