I'm starting this month with a renewed sense of this journey. I bought some frozen wheatgrass juice at the health food store this weekend. I started taking it every morning on Saturday. I hear good things about wheatgrass juice for health and infertility. I had a bit of junk food over the weekend, but I am now further committed to eating healthy. I still haven't had coffee in ages. I've even been good about not having any spluges of cafe mocha in the coffee shop at work. I know I logged here the last time I had any. I'm also thinking about ordering PreSeed. I'm not sure if CM is an issue, but I know it's not the same as it used to be in my 20s although it's been getting closer lately. I'm also trying to make some time for meditation every day. I think that helps my crazy hyped up feelings in my brain. The positive thinking is really helping. DH says I don't have issues with positive thinking and I guess he's right, since I've jumped right to thinking that we will not only have one more child, but two. I keep picturing us having another daughter next and two years later a son. Go figure. I like that picture though. I know all things are possible. We have some things we want to take care of financially and DH needs to finish school, but I think the next step if nothing happens in the next few months is to see the doctor again. I know I need to schedule my annual GYN. I'm thinking of asking her to do an HSG test. It would be my third, so at least I know what to expect. I haven't had one since before we went to the RE the last time, so thinking about when, that would've been Dec 2002 when I had the test last. I can't wait to see the look on her face when I ask. Nothing OB/GYNs like more than almost 36-year-old women talking about trying to have a baby still. Hee hee.
The more I work on my personal development, the more I realize I need to stop listening to and changing the negative things I tell myself in my head. I'm also noticing the older I get the more the negative things I hold as beliefs about myself are not true. This reinforces that I should second guess the other negative beliefs I hold inside ... maybe those are not true either. Here are a few things I've realized are not true: I need help to put air in my car tires - This was one of the first things I learned as my husband had to move to Colorado for work. I did this at the Wawa up the street where the machine will stop and beep when your tires are at the right pressure. I also learned and committed to memory that the pressure you want your tires at is inside your gas cap, something I have to open at least once a week. This was something that was super easy to learn to do and had me zipping along the roads in a few minutes without the anxiety...
Comments
Good luck at the OB -- I hope she's able to give you some answers. And don't feel self-conscious about your age. You are still well within reasonable limits!
I tried to do the wheatgrass thing once. I was shocked to find out that it tasted like...grass. Crazy huh?! That was the last time I did that.
Keep up the positive thinking. You are an inspiration!