Feminist Motherhood

Great post yesterday from Motherhood Uncensored! Kudos to her for having a phone conversation with THE Gloria Steinem! They had an interesting conversation on men being more involved in child rearing, and it's prompting me to write on the topic. For those of you that read this that are about to have babies, pay attention....

My husband is a very involved father. He doesn't do everything exactly the way I would, but does anyone ever? I knew right from the get-go to let him take care of Phoebe in his own way when I'm not doing it. I have to say, we split raising her 50/50. I can't say that about house work, but he does his share. I just prefer things cleaner, more often than he does, so when I clean it's for me more than anyone else and I know that. When Phoebe was a baby, I never said he was "babysitting" when I went to the hairdressers. Babysitting is when it's not really your child. People would ask and I'd say, "She's with her father." When I would come home the house would usually be a mess, especially when she was a toddler, as they wouldn't always clean up after themselves immediately, but who cares. They were having fun.

Fast forward to today. Phoebe started Kindergarten the week before Labor Day. The whole first week, Tom did drop off and pick up from school. He made her lunch everyday. I'll be honest, I made her lunch for the first time last night and I had to ask him to make sure I was doing it right! He checks her homework and what papers need to be sent back to the teacher and such. He's a right awesome Dad!

Granted, some weeks or months even may not seem 50/50. He may have work or school commitments taking up his time and I pick up the slack, or like the first week she was in school, he had to pick up the slack for me.

It's funny to read about that conversation with Gloria Steinem. I always knew I was a feminist, and my motherhood style proves it!


Mother said…
Awesome. I envy you. My husband doesn't get the 50-50 thing, but I admit after talking with Gloria - I'm inspired overall in my role as feminist mother.
Mom101 said…
This is a great post and congrats for finding a husband who is comfortable sharing responsibilities. As Gloria
put it on the call, we've spent so long proving that women can do a man's job - but forgotten to prove that men can do a woman's job. Glad your man is proving it for all of them.
MoMo said…
I guess I can't say that it's exactly 50/50 in our house since my husband works outside the home all day and I work at home - but my husband would love to be a stay-at-home dad (if only we could survive on just my salary!).

He gets offended when anyone refers to him as "babysitting," is equally as capable as me in every way, and takes care of our son full-time all summer. All in all, it's a great arrangement for us. I have a hard time thinking about it in any other way. My husband loves taking care of our son, and that includes all of the not-so-fun stuff too. We both consider ourselves feminist parents.
I'm not sure it's 50/50 in our household but it's pretty close.

Nice post.

PS. I just tagged you. The details are on my blog.


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