HSG Update

I had my HSG test yesterday and all systems are go. Tubes look all clear. Test hurt like a bugger though. I forgot how much that test sucks. It's 10 times worse than an endometrial biopsy, cause at least they go in, snip and their done. This test the catheter is above your cervix and shooting in dye for a few minutes. Really bad words almost came out of my mouth very loud. I know I screamed a bit, but the worst thing I said was "Oh, Shit!" Anyway glad that's over.

Not sure what we're going to do with this info yet. Tom and I get to have the fun conversation about if we should go back to the RE. If we did, I think I would stick to ovulation induction and IUIs (with DH's potent sample of course, that man could populate the earth!). I did get an email from someone anonymously to have him wear boxers and that worked for them to have their second. While I appreciate the well-meant advice, that's not our problem. He's always worn boxers, prefers them actually. The problem is all me, and we don't know what it is. It's completely unexplained. Our daughter is from infertility treatments after having really bad endometriosis. After having her, I've had no endo and no pregnancies either. I had one when we went back to the doctor, but the baby had genetic issues and the heart stopped around 10 weeks.

Anyway, things have been going well on the holistic front. I love my acupuncturist/TCM guy. I love my chiropractor. Eating really healthy is getting easier every day. It's become second nature for me to say "No, thank you" to coffee these days in favor of chamomile or peppermint tea. I love my juicer and use it every morning for breakfast. I take my herbs, vitamins and wheatgrass juice daily. I've been making myself dinners of browned millet with stir fried brocolli on the side. And the truth is that it's all come on so gradually that it doesn't feel like I'm trying to be a martyr or that I'm missing out on anything. I'm feeling really healthy and good about myself.

Next Tuesday, I plan on going to yoga classes that my old yoga teacher has near my office after work. I used to be very lucky that he used to teach classes at the gym at my work, but they closed the gym for insurance reasons, and I've been trying to practice on my own. Some times are better than others. This past week, I've been making an effort to practice every night. I could tell my body wasn't used to it anymore as after the first night my muscles in my butt ached something fierce and I wasn't even doing anything very strenuous.

I'm trying to renew my committment to my practice for a few reasons, one is that it will help with my Liver Qi stagnation. I really need to try to breathe deeply and not be so high strung. The second part has to do with the things I'm finding out doing the imagery exercises by Julia Indichova. The one exercise has you seeing a heavy backpack on your baby who's trying to make the journey to you. In the backpack, you can see all the things you believe having this baby will bring you and you need to try to identify what they are and think about them. I came up with the following:
1. Confidence in my body and what it can do for me.
2. Sharing/showing the love for my husband.
3. Sharing/showing the love for my family.
4. The ability to have fun decorating a baby room (believe me this sounds wierd, but I didn't get to do it the first time around).
5. A better pregnancy experience than the last one (there was a lot of tension due to medical issues that kept popping up).

The concept of doing this exercise is to free the baby from this weight of expectation. Some of the things you identify you can do without having a baby and you can work on that to free yourself from these feelings. Granted I can do everything but #5. Here's what I'm doing with these items:
1. Practice yoga, go for walks with the dog, work out on the elliptical machine, feel good about what my body can do now.
2. Spend more time with DH and share the love we have now without a second child.
3. Spend more family time and time alone with DD. Enjoy what we have now. These moments will never be here again.
4. While I'm not going to decorate a baby room right now, we have many rooms in our new house to decorate. We bought paint for 3 rooms on the first floor next weekend. We're going to get started painting this weekend.
5. Can't do a thing about that one.

I'm also still thinking on my creative outlet of starting to write some Bridget Jones fan fiction and posting it on fanfiction.net. I need to find some time for it this weekend. The cool thing is that my story line doesn't include Bridget having infertility issues. I'd rather live vicariously through her.

Comments

Crystal said…
things are moving along on all fronts! keep us posted.