Strange Dream and Taking it Easy

I had a very wierd dream this weekend. Again I'm still making sense of it as usual. I had to catch a flight to go home from somewhere, and I was running late because I hadn't finished packing everything I brought. What really struck me was the oddness of all the things I had brought on the trip. I think I had brought everything I owned except the kitchen sink! It really struck me when I started packing my grandmother's china. That is sitting in my basement in a box as an heirloom for Phoebe someday. Now that I'm thinking about it, I can't wait to have the butler's pantry put in our house so I can put it in an actual cabinet and maybe use it sometimes. Right now I just don't have any place to put it except in storage. But I don't think that was the point. I think it was trying to tell me two things that drive me crazy about myself. One: I always feel like I'm late to everything (even when I'm not, my heart is racing). Two: I always feel like everything needs to be perfect in order to get what I want. These are both things I need to work on.

I definately did work on these things today. I had a glass of vegetable juice from my new juicer this morning for breakfast along with my vitamins and herbs. At work, I had a glass of hot water with lemon and then I had a mug of dandelion tea. For lunch, I heated up a bowl of kitchari (mung beans and rice) I made yesterday morning and brought it to the local park. I sat, relaxed and enjoyed my soup. When I finished eating, I read some of "The Fertile Female" from Julia Indichova. I've read it before, but now I'm re-reading it to take it slow and savor every word. My favorite paragraph today was the following:

"Most of us tend not to "go into ourselves" until we have gone everywhere else, getting a second, third, and umpteenth opinion, and still finding ourselves clueless about our next move. A friend of mine calls this "fiddling with the dial" rather than waiting for the reception to clear."

This is so me! I hate to wait for anything. Sometimes I tend to push more than wait for things to settle out in time. Which we all know is completely ridiculous as everything does work out the way it's meant to in its own way.

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