Friday, October 31, 2008

IVF#2 - CD13 - Still Don't Know When Egg Retrieval Is

I went in for another ultrasound and bloodwork today monitoring my follicle growth. I have sizes anywhere from 22 to 14. I seem to have between 6 to 8 on each side. I didn't see the doctor today, but the two ultrasound techs that usually take care of me. They said Sunday is a possibility, but that they will discuss it with the doctor. They said they do Sunday retrievals and transfers when they have to. I must admit they all must really love what they do to work 7 days a week. But then again, I'm sure they don't get called out in the middle of the night, so it is just day work. But I still give them all credit. I only work 5 days a week and I'm not sure I'd like to do more than that.

I feel all bloated and want to go to the ladies more frequently than usual. I think my ovaries are squeezing my bladder in between them, LOL! I feel like my brain is total mush. I'm having a hard time concentrating and it's difficult to get anything out of this brain of mine recently. But I'm very hopeful. I really want this to work. I really want to get off this roller coaster of IVF. But if it gives me one more baby, I'll be ever so grateful.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Woo Hoo Phillies & When Will Egg Retrieval Be?

I'm so happy the Phillies won last night. I'm wearing my red sweater today over a white button down shirt. Phoebe wore her pink Phillies t-shirt with a white long-sleeve t-shirt under it. And I'm sure she wore her Phillies jacket to school too! We let her stay up late last night to watch the game. She was really getting into it, and when you knew they were only playing 2 1/2 innings, you knew it shouldn't be a long game. And boy was that a far cry from the 1993 Phillies that was playing in this series! To end the game striking him out was awesome! I remember Mitch Williams from 93 and let me tell you, watching him pitch, you'd be biting your nails until you got to your elbow! He was such a loose cannon pitching. Watching the pitcher that ended the game last night (I can't remember his name now) was so calming. You felt like he had things under control. It must be that statue of William Penn they put on the Comcast Tower to help break the curse. It hasn't seemed like a Philadelphia team was going to choke at the end.

Talking about choking, hopefully my body won't this IVF cycle. I'm still not sure when they are going to do my egg retrieval. Talked to the doctor today. He'd like the follicles on the right to be bigger to try to get more mature eggs than just the ones on the left. So no HCG injection for me yet. I might do it tomorrow night and have retrieval on Saturday, but I'm not sure what his final prognosis is going to be. I go back tomorrow for bloodwork and scan to determine.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

IVF#2 - CD10

Well things are truckin' right along. I've got at least 4 follicles developing on both sides. Hopefully they all have good genetics and will develop into healthy embryos. I go back Wednesday morning for ultrasound and bloodwork. Not sure if they'll have me do HCG on Wednesday, Thursday or Friday night yet.

BTW, it's Merlot's fault I've been so absent the past several days. She recommended I read the books that True Blood is based off of and she was so right. I just finished "Dead Until Dark" which is the first book in the Southern Vampire Mysteries and it's awesome! I have to say I think I like it even better than Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles because the vampires in these books can have sex! I mean that's truly what we all wanted to do with Lestat, right? Oh, is that just me? I can now say I know who is killing all the girls in Bon Temps. I'll have to keep it secret from Leo as he's been watching the show with me.

Hope everyone is doing well while I've been on my reading hiatus. I did buy the first three books, so I do still have two more to keep me busy. It is good to have something to read when I go in for these doctor's appointments, but then they are so good, you don't want to put them down.

Friday, October 24, 2008

IVF#2 CD6 - Scan and Bloodwork Day

I had my first scan and bloodwork after 3 days on Bravelle and Menopur. All is cooking away nicely. There are several small follicles developing, nothing is growing faster than the rest. So no leaders to suck up all the meds so far. I'll be calling into my voice mail box at the doctor's office this evening for the next few nights of instructions and then I have another bloodwork and ultrasound scan of the ovaries on Monday morning.

My sinuses seem to be clearing up, but I don't want to speak too soon on that. Considering I'm already on Zithromax, you'd think that wouldn't be a problem, but I've had a sinus headache for the past few days. This is day 3. I woke up with it, but I put some Vicks under my nose before I got in the shower this morning and then I took some Tylenol on my way to work. By the time I got to work I felt human again and it's continued all day. It's 3:30 in the afternoon here and I still feel OK. Let's hope it stays that way.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

IVF#2 - CD5

I almost forgot to take my shot last night. Leo is out of town for work and after Phoebe and I got back from her ice skating class, we had some leftover birthday cake and I was wiped. My brother called me last night and talking to him I remembered that I had forgotten my shot and antibiotic. So I went downstairs and took care of the shot and went back upstairs. Later while I was watching TV, I realized I forgot to take the antibiotic, so I went back downstairs and took care of that. I think my brain is all fuzzy because I've been suffering through a lot of sinus pressure all day for the past few days. I don't know what's causing it other than the change in temperatures outside. It's been very brisk out lately.

I still have all this sinus pressure right now, but I'm getting a lot done at work today, so I'm feeling a bit better on the "time issues" thing I posted about yesterday. I just wish sometimes I could press the slow play or pause button so I can savor certain moments of the day, like standing with Phoebe to wait for the bus in the morning. It's so much fun to have that quiet time to talk to her, and then the bus is there and she has to go and I have to go be productive at work.

I think I'm going to go make myself some peppermint tea and get some more productive work done. I think the peppermint tea might help my sinuses. Have I ever mentioned I have a drawer at my desk full of herbal teas? I also have some green tea from China from a co-worker.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

IVF#2 - CD4 - Happy Anniversary to Me

Today is my 14th wedding anniversary. Holy cow! Time flies when you're having fun. Last I remember, the Phillies were in the 1993 World Series and I was dating my Leo. We went to two of the World Series games that year, since we had preferential treatment for all the regular season games we went to that year. We tried this year, but we couldn't get any. We did take Phoebe to one Phillies game this year and did get one of those photos of our family they took for us. I love that pic. It's on top of our entertainment center.

On time, I am feeling kind of out of it the past few days. I feel like there is never enough time for everything I want to do. How do other people handle those feelings. Sometimes lately I feel like it takes all my energy just to get through the basic tasks of the day and never get to the extra things I want to do. There's so much with my life I want to do, I'm afraid I'll never get to half of it. I must admit I'm scared sometimes at the thought of having another child considering my time to get things done will go down again. I try to remind myself I'll just need to get more creative with my time and I know I'm pretty good with that. I do know that if I'm really busy, I get more things done than if I'm only moderately busy, so I know it's a good thing for me to be really swamped.

I'll be watching the World Series game tonight - Go Phillies!!!! I'm wearing red today!

Monday, October 20, 2008

CD2 - IVF#2

AF showed up on Sunday, so tomorrow is my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork for IVF#2. I'm really excited and trying to be as positive as possible. I still need to give up my one cup of coffee at work, I had my last glass of wine last night at Phoebe's birthday party, and I'll be working hard to eat healthy and take all my vitamins.

Phoebe's birthday party went great yesterday! It was total chaos and I loved it. It was a costume party and all the kids looked great. We dressed in costume too and had a great time. The kids played a pass the pumpkin game kind of like playing Hot Potato and they loved playing freeze dancing to Halloween music. Leo got them silly string and let them play with it until it ran out. My SIL helped clean it all up from the floor, LOL! Leo is the best cook. He made hot roast beef sandwiches and a sausage, bean and hominy soup that was to die for. The kids had pizza and breadsticks that I ordered. Some of the parents of the friends from Phoebe's school stayed and it was great getting to know them, but I have to admit, once we only had family and our friends left, I was able to relax. There we're still quite a few kids left, but only half as much and they we're easier to police to make sure no one got hurt. This morning at breakfast, Phoebe told me what a great time she had yesterday and that it was the best party ever!

On other matters, I love the new HBO show True Blood more and more. We watched it last night after the party guests were all gone and Phoebe was in bed. After it was over, I felt a huge let down that there wasn't another episode to continue the story immediately afterward. How am I going to wait for next week? BTW, I rarely get like this over TV shows.

And boy did it ever get cold last night. I finally turned on the heat in our house this morning to get the chill out of the air (I'm such a cheapskate right now). Phoebe wore a beanie hat and gloves to school today. The beanie hat she'll probably wear through the day, as it is stylish and matches her sweater she had on. Thankfully, I have a great bowl of soup that I'm eating right now for lunch.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Last BCP Before IVF

Woo hoo! It's felt like it's been a long time coming. Today was my last of the 14 day birth control pill part of the IVF preparation. I should get AF within the next few days. On Monday I will probably have my baseline ultrasound. Unless it comes real early, then I might need to go in on Saturday morning. I'm really excited to have this one stick!

Phoebe is very lucky. She will be able to have whatever sticky candy she wants for Halloween. They took the spacers off this week and did a mold of her upper jaw so they can make the hardware. She goes back on Election Day for the spacers to be put back in and then the following week they will put the hardware in. The timing for this is working out great, since I don't know how this is going to impact her speech and she has a show with OperaDelaware on November 8th. I would hate for her to have to try to not just talk, but sing with this thing in. I hope she gets used to it quickly, as they will start their next show "The Mikado" in January.

BTW, another funny. Leo came with us last night to her ice skating class. He hasn't seen her skate in awhile, as he's been very busy with work. Last night he admitted it was a little scary watching her move around the ice so quickly. I find that funny because he's always the one reminding me not to look scared when she tries to climb trees or do gymnastics. I was able to stand their calmly and tell him I don't look at her too long, but that I am used to it by now.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

No Gum for My Girl

I don't know if I've ever mentioned that Phoebe still sucks her thumb. She started when she was 6 months old and still does it today at bedtime and when she's bored such as watching TV, in the car, etc. Well, she went to her first orthodontist consult at the recommendation of the dentist and soon she won't be able to suck her thumb even if she tried! The doctor first showed me all the bad things that are happening to her mouth because of her thumb sucking. I knew about the way it was elongating her top jaw and pushing her top teeth forward, but I had no idea it was causing a crossbite on her molars and for her tongue to push her bottom teeth forward when she swallows - every time she swallows, not just when sucking her thumb.

We then discussed the next steps. He's going to fit her for a device that will attach to her back molars and have a piece of metal sticking down that will not allow her to suck her thumb. She won't be able to close her mouth if her thumb is in there. It's going to take about four visits before she'll have this in place. Today he did step 1, which is putting spacers between her back molars and then she goes back next Tuesday for something else. At some time, he'll be taking a mold of her upper jaw to build the appliance that will go in there.

The poor thing was so anxious about this visit that when he went to have her lie back so he could put the spacers in she started crying. I sat with her and explained that it wouldn't hurt and that it was just a little rubberband that he was putting in her mouth. After the first one was put in, she stopped crying and everyone in the room laughed when she stopped and said, "Oh! That's not bad!" What a cutie! She'll be able to stay a cutie by being able to have nice teeth.

So, now that the spacers are in, she's not allowed to have any gum or other sticky foods. I'm glad that she's already had some caramel apples this fall. I guess I get all her Halloween candy, right?

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Rough Day

I'm sitting here watching the presidential debate on TV and drinking a glass of wine. Oh boy do I need this glass of wine!!! Today was a rough day at work. We had layoffs at work today. Myself and my dynamo team of two seem to have survived these cuts. It wasn't a significant percentage of our work force, but the timing and some of the picks were very surprising. I think the communication could've been a little better too. As I've been taught, I was honest, but put on the best face for my team and made sure they felt communicated to what I knew that was not rumor or conjecture. Plus, before the announcement was made of the layoffs, I spent an hour talking to the recent new hire on my team talking about making sure he tries to keep some balance. He's put in a lot of hours getting up to speed on his new responsibilities, which I appreciate, but I can see if he continues burnout will happen. We have a huge backlog in our team, not from having a new resource, but because we do such good work, people want to give us more. It was a long conversation, but I listened to him vent, which I could tell he needed, and I got to make sure he knows to make sure he's not neglecting the rest of his life for this new job.

On top of this, what I didn't want to admit yesterday and detract from the amazement I have for my little girl, is that I'm a little frustrated that our daughter is now eight years old and doesn't have a sibling. We've spent so much time and energy over these eight years trying to make that happen and not until now have I felt like it would be possible.

BTW, the bright point I've been thinking about today is the right way to look at adjustments I've made to my diet and lifestyle. I could think of them as restrictive, but they are not really. If anything, they've opened my eyes to another way of thinking. I never would've tried some of the foods I currently eat if I wasn't trying to conceive. Some of them I quite like. It's taught me that I can be strong for myself as well as for others. I'm used to always being strong for others, usually to the detriment of myself. I've learned lots of new foods: quinoa, burdock root, daikon radishes. They are actually quite good! And I'm not really restricting myself on some other foods except for trying to make good decision that I'd have to try to make even if I wasn't trying to get pregnant. I do think I've been growing as a person and enjoying some new things.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Happy Birthday to My Little Girl

Today is Phoebe's birthday. I can't believe at 7:36 AM this morning, she turned 8 years old. I feel like I just blinked and we're here. I'm sure the next time I blink she'll be 18 years old!

I just can't gush enough about how loving, sweet, smart and beautiful our little girl is. She's in second grade now and she's improving daily on her reading, math and handwriting. Her hobbies are figure skating, playing the guitar, and anything artsy - painting, drawing, sewing. She even has her own fabric stash already! She's been ice skating since she was four years old. Her cross overs are wonderful and she's starting to do waltz jumps with her coach. She started playing guitar in January this year and she really loves it. She can't wait to get a piano and loves to play around with one whenever she's near one. Phoebe really loves music and her singing with OperaDelaware's Artist Training program has come a long way this year. She even sang a song in French this summer during her workshop! I can't begin to say how scared she was at the beginning of the week to sing in a language she doesn't know, but she worked hard and did it beautifully! She still knows all the words to that song - oh and so do I!!!

Her beauty I think none can compare to. Her beautiful long brown hair and large brown eyes capture attention often. Unfortunately some of that attention comes from boys! I'm not ready for that yet. Thankfully, she's developing a good head on her shoulders and her reasons for liking her current boy-friend are spot on - "He's smart, nice, laughs at her jokes and compliments her drawings." Yes she did use the word "compliment"! The other thing I love so much about my Phoebe is her infectious laugh and the dimple in her cheek when she smiles. My life would not be complete without this little girl that's stolen my heart forever.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Here We Go Again

AF started yesterday! I'm very excited to get this show on the road. I left a message for the IVF coordinators yesterday morning and I still haven't heard back from them. I'm sure it's that they are trying to firm up my protocol with the doctor, so I'm not terribly worried, but I did leave them another message this morning. I believe I'm supposed to start BCPs tomorrow morning and do that for two weeks. After AF starts after I stop the BCPs, we start injectibles! So it's looking like we'll be officially started IVF #2 towards the middle of the month.

I'm looking forward to it. But I know I've got to clean up my eating habits. I've been working hard to stay relaxed lately and that's going well. Keeping my to-do list organized and up-to-date, watching some really cool TV shows with Leo. Right now I'm addicted to TrueBlood. I don't know if I've ever mentioned my love of vampire stories. I think it has to do with loving SciFi and Fantasy type books and stories. I've read all of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles, which are my particular favorite, but I'm noticing there are a few new vampire shows/movies coming out that are based on series of books I didn't know about. Must check them out.

Also, I was completely addicted to Lost in Austen from ITV in England. I was able to watch the first two episodes on YouTube, but then they got pulled, so Google helped me find a site that could show me the last two episodes. I'd be more than happy to watch it on ITV's website, but since I'm not in England it won't let me watch from there. I do love Austen and I thought this was an entertaining piece of escapism as I think every girl wants to fall in love with Mr. Darcy. The only part that annoyed me is I hated the main character's hairdo. A bonnet doesn't look very becoming when you still have your stick-straight hair in your face. Anyway...

But every girl falls in love with Darcy. I married a Darcy. Tall, dark and handsome, a bit shy which some people think is snobbery, but then he'll talk your ear off if he gets to know you. Funny thing is I hadn't read Pride and Prejudice until after I got married, so I didn't know he was just like Darcy until after the fact. I was too busy in college reading Engineering books. I had a list of novels I wanted to read after I graduated and it took me some time to get through them all. I read every Austen novel, the entire Dune series and every Anne Rice novel I could find.