Rough Day

I'm sitting here watching the presidential debate on TV and drinking a glass of wine. Oh boy do I need this glass of wine!!! Today was a rough day at work. We had layoffs at work today. Myself and my dynamo team of two seem to have survived these cuts. It wasn't a significant percentage of our work force, but the timing and some of the picks were very surprising. I think the communication could've been a little better too. As I've been taught, I was honest, but put on the best face for my team and made sure they felt communicated to what I knew that was not rumor or conjecture. Plus, before the announcement was made of the layoffs, I spent an hour talking to the recent new hire on my team talking about making sure he tries to keep some balance. He's put in a lot of hours getting up to speed on his new responsibilities, which I appreciate, but I can see if he continues burnout will happen. We have a huge backlog in our team, not from having a new resource, but because we do such good work, people want to give us more. It was a long conversation, but I listened to him vent, which I could tell he needed, and I got to make sure he knows to make sure he's not neglecting the rest of his life for this new job.

On top of this, what I didn't want to admit yesterday and detract from the amazement I have for my little girl, is that I'm a little frustrated that our daughter is now eight years old and doesn't have a sibling. We've spent so much time and energy over these eight years trying to make that happen and not until now have I felt like it would be possible.

BTW, the bright point I've been thinking about today is the right way to look at adjustments I've made to my diet and lifestyle. I could think of them as restrictive, but they are not really. If anything, they've opened my eyes to another way of thinking. I never would've tried some of the foods I currently eat if I wasn't trying to conceive. Some of them I quite like. It's taught me that I can be strong for myself as well as for others. I'm used to always being strong for others, usually to the detriment of myself. I've learned lots of new foods: quinoa, burdock root, daikon radishes. They are actually quite good! And I'm not really restricting myself on some other foods except for trying to make good decision that I'd have to try to make even if I wasn't trying to get pregnant. I do think I've been growing as a person and enjoying some new things.


Martha said…
Sorry about your work situation. I'm sorry it's been such a stressful situation in trying to give Phoebe a sibling. I really applaud your great attitude about your diet and well being. I love daikon radishes and burdock root!
Trace said…
OH NO! Hopefully you'll remain unscathed.
Hope the wine helped although I am sure watching the debates didn't make you feel any more optimistic. Good luck on your journey.
Kirsten said…
Happy belated birthday to Phoebe (and here's hoping she'll have a sibling for the next!)
Lay-offs are happening all over the place...scary times. My MIL is the HR director for the largest business in our small town and they are shutting their doors so she has to lay-off 200 people, and also write her own termination papers. I'm glad you survived the cut and are appreciated!!
carla said…
Checking back in on you....

Here's hoping you're still in that place of feeling your new lifestyle is just a new path you're carving----not retriction or denial.

The rest of your post? I. Can. Relate.

MamaSoon said…
It is true that through struggles, we learn things. New foods, patience, appreciation, listening to our bodies. :-) I think it is nice that you can lick a wound and count your blessings all at once. Balance.

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