Friday, April 29, 2005

Ready or Not Here I Come!

I've been freeze tagged! I've woken up from my I hate my job stupor to total excitement of being freeze tagged... So here's my answers:

1) You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you save?

If I was stuck in Farenheit 451 (of which I now planning on reading) what would I save? I'd have to say Whitman's Leaves of Grass. If I couldn't have any other books, I'd have to save poetry.

2) Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

Mr. Darcy from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I swear my DH is my Mr. Darcy.

3) The last book you purchased?

I just purchased The Infertility Cure which is mostly about Traditional Chinese Medicine cures for infertiliy. I've been thinking of finding a good acupunturist anyway for other issues (allergies, lactose intolerance, improve sex drive). I found it on Sara's website, Baby or Bust.

4) What are you currently reading?

Lots of emails for work. Other than that every day I look at my Magical Almanac to see what color I should wear tomorrow. I'm getting superstitious that it's helped progress me moving in a forward career direction. Also is Scott Cunningham's book The Magical Household.

5) 5 books you would take to a deserted island?

Oh my... I have to pick just five! I'll try.
  • Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
  • Emma - Jane Austen (I didn't wimp out and just say the complete works of)
  • I'm going to wimp out here with a series Daughter of Fortune and Portrait in Sepia by Isabel Allende.
  • Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. For those who haven't read this recently, read it again and see if it reminds you a bit of our mass production and consumable goods culture we're becoming.
  • The Harry Potter Collection, as I've only read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, but I would like a long vacation on a deserted island to read them all because I couldn't put it down.
Now it's time to bloggy freeze tag someone.... I pick Sara. She seems to have some good book picks already, and she needs to take her mind off some stuff.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Tired from Week

I'm on a conference call with work right now testing some firewall rule changes that pushed out. For those of you who haven't noticed this is after 9:30 PM. I hate my job more than anything right now. I love the team of folks that I work with, but my management has to go.

On that note, I've been busy with a lot this week trying to find myself that bigger and better job. I had a second interview at Juniper, with the same two people as before, but they met with me at the same time. I really hope they are serious. They seemed it. They also seemed like they are now in a hurry to make a decision, but I'd still need to come back and meet with the CIO and CTO. One of them is on vacation. This job opportunity sounds very interesting as they described that they are looking for a Program Manager for Partnership launches that can communicate with all the business areas, the partners, and the development teams. I think that sounds interesting and is a step up from what I'm doing right now.

I also had a bunch of interviews for the internal position in Decision Sciences. I also think this would be a good opportunity, although it is a lateral move but the growth opportunities would be good. Not as much exposure as the Juniper position, but it's a good fallback. Staying at my current company is not a bad idea, depending on how much $$ the other position offers me.

Talking about money.... apparently I make too much for the Comcast project management job. The HR guy called me and he indicated that. He said he would talk to the hiring manager, but that it was out of the range they were looking for. Some people have told me that banking pays much more than other industries. I guess they were right.

So we'll see what happens. On another note, I ordered some infertility books from Amazon. In particular the book that Sara from Baby or Bust is reading. It's about TCM helping infertility. I think anything is worth a shot right now (no pun intended, I don't want anymore shots).

BTW, has anyone watched "Sex and the City" since blogging and realized Carrie sounds just like a woman blogging and not writing a newspaper column?

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Today was my Daddy's birthday. I'm still such a Daddy's girl. I think other than my father is the best in the whole world, is I don't have much else to choose from in my family dynamic. My mother isn't very close to me. She prefers my dependant brother, and also in that thought, my brother is very messed up. A twenty-eight year old should not still be living with his mother and having her do everything for him. It's just strange.

I let Phoebe talk her Poppa's ear off on the phone like I know she can. I think he enjoyed it. I realized again how much I love my Daddy as I was walking around the house after dinner singing "Yellow Submarine" to myself. It was one of our favorite songs together.

Oh, I've also been meaning to admit this guilty pleasure.... "Band on the Run" by Paul McCartney and Wings. It was my favorite song when I was four (I really knew all the words then). Now when I hear it I still sing along and get all happy.

I'm not looking forward to work tomorrow. I gotta hang in there. I know something better is coming. I'm not sure what (or in this case which one), and I'm not sure when, but I know I'm onto it.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

The Good and the Bad

I'm feeling a little out of it right now. I think I'm in shock about this week. The highs are very high and the lows feel pretty low. I'm going to start with the happy stuff:
  • We got a lot of work done here at work. We've been almost able to meet some aggressive timelines we've been working toward.
  • I got asked to post for another job in Marketing by the hiring manager. I have interviews next week. The hiring manager already said he wants to hire me. This definately gave me much more confidence this week.
  • I just got a phone call from Juniper. The same people want to meet with me again. I'm going back next Wednesday.
  • Phoebe sang in the school concert yesterday. She did great!
  • The outside of the front door is finished being stained and the trim is all up around it!!! It looks terrific!
  • I took Phoebe to the new data center up the street from our house, as I had to drop off some addtional cards we bought for the servers there. I taught Phoebe you can't bring food into a data center as you don't want to get the computers all dirty. She recited this at dinner.
  • We got the bills done this week, and things are looking according to plan. We've really been trying to control our expenses this month.
  • I've lost three pounds so far this week.

The bad stuff:

  • My house is a mess.
  • We ate out last night because we're close to out of food, and I had no energy to cook.
  • Work is driving me crazy.
  • I sent my daily critical server status out last night after having a glass of wine. Thankfully, it wasn't that bad. Or should I put this in the good list?
  • We are running out of clothes and I better get some laundry done.
  • I want a fenced in back yard so I don't have to stay outside with the dog. The weather is so nice and the sun out so much later in the day, I feel she should get out more.

I'm going to go now, and pick up Phoebe, make dinner out of whatever we have left in the house to eat, and get my house cleaned up and go grocery shopping tomorrow night. Tonight I will try to clean my house, so that will help me feel better about the bad list, because the good list is pretty good.

Monday, April 18, 2005

An Old Baby Story (Part 6)

Part 6 also starts on Phoebe's Day 6. She was in the NICU, doing very well, and we hadn't seen the surgeons all week (this was Thursday by now). The doctor's at this hospital were saying that if they didn't hear from the surgeons soon, they would send her home with us that day, and we should follow up with the other doctors when we got home.

Tom and I had been together with her since she was born, except for running home for a bite to eat and shower and change. We lived 10 minutes from the hospital. We had discussed the night before that we would rather her go from one hospital to the next. We weren't relishing the thought of handing her back to a hospital after she'd already been home.

But anyway, I sent Tom to Babies R Us across the street from the hospital to pick up a new infant car seat (the convertable one was too big for her) and have it installed properly, as they had the fire department there doing the installs and showing the proper way to do it. The instant he left, the surgeons showed up.

The surgeon we had met before sat down with me and gave me the options. They still saw the mass on the lung from the XRay, but she was doing fine and if we wanted we could take her home (!!!) and bring her to them on Monday, (I think here he saw the fear in my face) or she could go today and they could do the surgery on Friday afternoon. He was surprised that there wasn't a more recent XRay other than her one right after birth. I told him they did one that morning, and the nurse confirmed. He stormed off with his posse to Radiology to make them find the new XRay. He was so mad they didn't show it to him when he was down there.

The surgeon came back. No Tom yet. He said the mass was bigger and recommended she have surgery on Friday afternoon. Immediately, there was a transport team to take her away, and Tom wasn't back yet!!! The doctors and nurses helped me stall. They had to pull her chart together, including stuff from Radiology and other departments and that would take time. She needed her pictures done from the hospital, otherwise we wouldn't have what every parent has done at the hospital. I was calling the store. They couldn't find him. I found out later, he went to Home Depot next door when he was done to pick up an air filter for the furnace. Ahhh!!! Tom got there right before she left. He put her into the transport basinette. I cried. We couldn't go in the ambulance, but had to meet them at the NICU at the other hospital.

The next few days were a mess. She couldn't eat that night because she was going to be put under at 1:30 PM the next day. She cried so bad from hunger, it broke my heart. Then the waiting from the surgery. I was in complete shock the whole time. It was real and this was happening. The doctor came out when it was over and said it wasn't a cyst. It turned out her middle lobe of her right lung wasn't connected to the bronchiole tubes, and was just a piece of unused tissue of her lung, and they removed it. Ordinarily, something like this wouldn't be caught until she was 8 or 9 when she would've been very sick with reoccurring pneomonia. He was explaining that a newborn would bouce back much quicker from the removal of this part of the lung and that she should be coming home in three days. They had her off the ventilator before they brought her back from surgery, but she had a chest tube in which was still draining, and they indictated was painful for her. She was on pain medications while that was in until they could remove it. She was still crying a lot in between sleeping. I tried to nurse her once when she had the chest tube in and I was afraid I'd hurt her moving it around too much.

Within 1-2 days the chest tube was removed. I can't remember how long. But the last night was the worst. I had great nurses at both hospitals the entire time we were there, except the last night before we were going home. I hadn't seen this nurse before and it was a Sunday night. We were scheduled to bring Phoebe home Monday afternoon if everything still looked good. We had been staying overnight in the latation room across the hall as no one else was using it. All the other babies were long term NICU babies. They got a cot for us in that room and clean sheets and everything. This new nurse asked us what our plans were for the evening. I said I was staying across the hall, and she got all huffy and said she'd see about that and went to the nurses' station. She came back and said, "Fine you can stay, but isn't it going to be a pain if I'm waking you up in the middle of the night to feed her!" I explained to her that Phoebe was going home tomorrow and that no one was going to do middle of the night feedings when I got home with her. That night was a nightmare. I came out when I woke up in the middle of the night and took Phoebe across the hall when she woke up. We were having a little problem latching and this nurse kept coming and knocking on the door of the lactation room. Finally I got really mad at her and told her to leave me alone and that I would handle it and bring Phoebe back when I was done.

She told me later she didn't think Phoebe was eating enough and that she wouldn't be able to go home tomorrow. It got me really upset, and when they did go to discharge us, I started questioning them if she was eating enough. They said they needed the bed, and that everything was fine, but if we wanted piece of mind they'd put us in a pediatric room where I'd be the only one watching her and could call the nurse if there was a problem. We didn't see how that would help at all. We wanted to go home, so we took there word for it and she was discharged!!!

I actually have a great picture from this moment. Tom was putting Phoebe's carrier into the base. She had the quilt over her that I made for her a year before I even started infertility treatments. Tom leaned over her and smiled while I took a quick picture from the other open back car door. When we got the film developed we were shocked. Phoebe was smiling in the picture! I think she was happy to go home too. She was ten days old when we brought her home. She had some tiny stiches on her back that they said would disolve and we'd bring her back for XRays in three months.

Friday, April 15, 2005

An Old Baby Story (Part 5)

I started pushing I think around 6:30 or 7 AM. Phoebe Katharine Wilson was born at 7:36 AM on October 6, 2000. She was 7 lbs. 1/2 oz and 20 1/2 inches long. Did I mention she was 4 weeks early? Thank God!

She seemed to be breathing OK but she had some lung immaturity. There were lots of doctors all around her working on her. I got to hold her once before she was whisked away to the NICU. Tom went with her. We discussed that before hand. She had a full head of black hair, just as I expected. There were lots of tears.

BTW, they never seem to tell you about having to push out the placenta in the birthing classes. What's up with that? It freaked me out when the doctor told me I had to push again after she was born. I was completely unprepared. I grabbed Nicki's hand (SIL) and she was forced to sit down. She told me she almost got sick. That is the part of the story where she wished she wasn't there. Sorry, Nicki. Tom was watching Phoebe with the doctors on the side of the room while they were getting her ready to go to the NICU.

Phoebe was on a respirator for the first 24 hours. It broke my heart. We have lots of pictures of her in the NICU, but none on the respirator. I just don't want to remember her that way. We also if you noticed didn't get to breastfeed when she was first born. But I'll tell you it didn't get in the way of a successful nursing relationship. We did it exclusively for 7 months before she ever had even a drop of formula (not that there's anything wrong with that!). She also never had a naval stump that had to fall off, because the doctors used her naval to put a central line in. It might not be the right terminology, but she was fed through there for a few days.

After Phoebe and Tom went to the NICU, they let me sleep in L&D and have lunch there, too. Apparently they didn't need the room that badly at the time. I think they felt a little sorry for me too, not getting to be wheeled up to Maternity with my baby.

I slept in Maternity for the good part of the day. I felt like shit for lack of a better word. I had broken capillaries all around my eyes from pushing. Before dinner, Tom came and took me down to see Phoebe. I tried to walk there, but I didn't get too far and needed a wheelchair. That was the only time I saw her on the respirator. By the next morning, she was breathing on her own. They had given her surfactant to finish the lung maturation process and it worked great. She had some chest XRays that day to look at the mass on her right lung and it was still there. We stayed with her for a long time, and then I went to bed.

I woke up the next morning starving. I wake up around 6 AM no matter what. Breakfast didn't come until 8:30 - 9:00 AM! Are these people crazy! I asked the nurses and they found me some graham crackers and apple juice. Then I walked down to see my baby. She was on oxygen at the time, but looked much better. She had tubes and wires all over monitoring her. She was also the biggest baby in the NICU. Nurses and doctors kept asking me if I miscalculated my dates. When I mentioned the date, time, and doctor that did my IUI they understood I knew what I was talking about.

So Phoebe was at this hospital for the first 6 days of her life. I pumped while instructed by the nurses in Maternity. It made my nipples crack, because they put it on full force and told me if I couldn't handle that I wouldn't be able to handle a baby eating. That was so not true. Phoebe never hurt me like that. Met a great lactation consultant. She helped me immensely. Showed me how to really use the pump and rented me my own for home use while she was in the hospital. We spent every day at the hospital. We were able to sleep at the hospital too, since I was able to nurse, they had nice rooms for me to sleep in down the hall of the NICU. There was a bed, TV and a phone for the NICU to call me if she woke up hungry in the middle of the night. Funny thing was they never needed it. I kept waking up in the middle of the night, I'd go down the hall to check on her, and she'd wake up hungry about 20 minutes later while I was watching her.

So the first six days were uneventful. Every now and then the monitors would go off, but we learned to turn them off, as she was OK. The surgeons from the other hospital never came by until day 6..... That's a story in itself.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

An Old Baby Story (Part 4)

We'll continue from going into labor & delivery. Beautiful room, hardwood floors, my own bathroom with shower, loved that room! I spent the next 21 hours in this room. It was about 2:30 PM by the time I got settled in the room. My water broke at 10:30 AM. I didn't feel a single contraction until I got settled in the L&D room.

Ouch! The good thing is I practice yoga and really learned my breathing exercises well. These really do help, girls! I was going to do my best to do this without an epidural, because we didn't know if Phoebe was going to have to go right to the other hospital for surgery. We knew if that happened, there was no way I was going to stay checked into the hospital where I delivered. I had to be with my baby. I didn't want to wait for an epidural to wear off. I also have to admit, I don't like needles. I never even looked at the needle they used for amnio. Not even after they did the procedure. I laid down in denial that anything was going on until I got the big bruise on my belly later. I'd also heard of women whose spinal fluid was all messed up after having an epidural. I'm a bit of a control freak. I figured I could do this on my own.

Apparently I was pretty good at controlling the pain. The doctors and nurses were pretty surprised at my strength (me too!). There was a woman I could hear screaming in the next room. They told me she had an epidural and was still screaming.

After 6 PM my contractions started to fizzle. At midnight they gave me pitocin in my IV. It gave me a nasty metal taste in my mouth. They said I could eat mints, so I made someone go to the snack machine and get me some.

Oh, I almost forgot the support crew. They really were a crew. Since we were trying this natural, and I finally agreed to have it videotaped, I asked my friend Wendi to do this. I told my husband he had to be my support guy with my breathing, so he couldn't tape it himself. So my friend Wendi came and she was great. Her husband drove her and he stayed in the waiting rooms all night with the other family members in waiting. Also, I asked my SIL, Nicki, to be there, as she was going to be the Godmother and she'll probably never get to have her own children (she has Lupus). She probably wishes right now that she wasn't there, but that'll come later in the story. Since she doesn't drive, my other SIL, Darci, drove her to the hospital. We decided to ask Darci to stay.

Let's take a count. I had the following in the support crew - Tom (DH), Wendi (videographer), Nicki (godmother/aunt), and Darci (aunt). You're only really allowed 2 additional support people other than your coach/spouse, but I think they let me go since I wasn't having drugs.

The other thing I really remember prior to pushing was that around 4 AM the doctor came in to check on the progress. I was 7 cm dilated at the time and progressing nicely since midnight when they started the pitocin. Apparently I was very calm. The doctor thought I must've requested an epidural while he was gone (I always reserved that right to still ask). He said, "You're fine now that you have an epidural (looking up over my shoulder for the meds). Wait, you don't have an epidural! Are you OK?" Me: "Fine." Dr. "OK, keep going."

Stay tuned for Part 5! Oh, by the way, at first I didn't like the doctor that was delivering. He was the only male doctor in the practice, and I had him for my 32-week checkup where I had already gained 35 pounds. He made a comment about my weight and that I should stop gaining weight. I almost told him off, because it was all baby. My belly was huge, and I was only eating healthy food. I rarely ate ice cream or junk food. He turned out to be great in L&D, though.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

An Old Baby Story (Part 3)

I’m typing this into MS Word first, so if I lose the post in Blogger, I can repost it later. It seems all my issues with Blogger are during evening hours, and that’s when I’d like to get this one done.

So I went for a Level 2 ultrasound and Doppler when I was 36 ½ weeks along. I had my 36-week appointment with one of the other OB/Gyns in the practice that week, as my regular OB was on vacation. I used to call my mom every Sunday morning to give her the baby update and how the tests were going. When she heard my doctor was on vacation, she told me that I would go into labor this week. I thought she was crazy! I had a scheduled induction for the week of October 24th, a week before my due date. Any way, I do remember Phoebe kicking me a lot the night before these appointments. I told Tom I thought she was looking for another exit.

It was October 5, 2000. After the ultrasound, Tom and I would go to Borders to get him a pumpkin spice coffee and me a decaf coffee. I went into the ladies room before we got our coffees. After I had just put myself back together, I felt a trickle. I took everything apart again. It was wet and clear, but I knew I still had bladder control and that only meant one thing. I came out and told Tom we had to go. I thought my water broke. He said, “What do you mean you think?” I explained the situation and I knew I still had bladder control, ha ha.

We went home even though the hospital was closer, because I didn’t have a bag packed yet. Plus I wasn’t sure if my doctor wanted to just see me early and then send me to the hospital. We went home, called the doctor. They must’ve thought I was stupid. They told me to go to the hospital and that I would go into Triage and if it was the real thing, they would call my doctor’s office.

We got a bag together, called the families, and went to the hospital. While doing this, things were leaking a little more, but still not that bad. We put towels down in the car so I could sit on them just in case. Thank God we did. By the time we got to the hospital, I was soaked. I walked in and they said, “Take the elevator and go to Labor and Delivery #16.” I remember 16, because that is my lucky number, but I also knew that meant I wasn’t going to Triage. I asked them about that and one of the Triage nurses came out. She took one look at my soaked pants and she said, “Honey, let me put it to you this way. We have 10 beds in Triage and there are 11 women back there already. You’re the only one we’re sure is staying.” I assumed that was because since my water broke I had to deliver in 24 hours.

I went to the room, called work and said I wouldn’t be coming in tomorrow and that it looked like my leave was starting today. So I actually worked up until the day before I delivered. More fun later on this story. I think even I’m getting bored at this point, but I know I need to get this all out.

An Old Baby Story Part 2

Blogger ate my Part 2 that I typed up last night. I'm going to try again this morning, but I'm seriously considering Typepad with everyone else that has fled.

If you are reading this, you may want to go to Part 1 first.

We decided to do amneocentisis. They said they wanted to check the AFP level in the amniotic fluid. If the AFP level was fine there, then the baby should be fine. If it was fine, they would need to screen me for cancer. Apparently a high MSAFP level can be attributed to cancer in females. They never told me what kind of cancers.

The AFP level in the amniotic fluid was normal. No problems. Baby should be fine. Then they did MRIs (had to be open, I'm terribly claustrophobic) and ultrasounds looking for cancer. They didn't find anything. They gave me and baby a clean bill of health and said they wanted me to come in for Level 2 ultrasounds every month just to check things out. Apparently, there's a correlation out there with unexplained high MSAFPs with the amniotic fluid getting low or the placenta degrading early later in the pregnancy. They said I should be able to go at least 36 weeks, so no worries. They just wanted to monitor us and classified it as a high-risk pregnancy.

We went in for the first Level 2 ultrasound, and things went south again. The ultrasound tech came back with the doctor who repeated the ultrasound and showed us what appeared to be a mass on the baby's lung. They said it looked like a cyst, and wanted me to come in every other week and sometimes every week to monitor it for any growth and to make sure it wasn't moving the baby's heart and affecting bloodflow. It seemed we couldn't get a break, just when everything was going OK, it went downhill again.

We decided to find out what the sex of the baby was from the amniocentisis based on this information. We wanted to be able to name the baby in case anything happened, she would at least have a name. We found out we were having a girl and named her Phoebe. We go this name not from friends, but from Charmed another TV show that apparently only tween girls know about. We wanted a unique name that would fit her personality. We found out in Greek that Phoebe means "bright, shining," and that made it even more perfect.

So at around 22 weeks, we knew we were having a girl named Phoebe, and we didn't know what her fate was going to be. We had fetal MRIs to look closer at her lung. We had to take these MRIs to the surgeons at a fabulous children's hospital here in Delaware. We discussed with the doctors there that she would need surgery either immediately after birth or a few days afterward. We met with neonatalogists as she would be in the NICU most likely after birth, and had weekly Level 2 ultrasounds and doppler scans of her bloodflow with the perinatalogists. This pregnancy sucked with anxiety.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

An Old Baby Story (Part 1)

I've been prompted by my other fellow infertiles that had babies spend time in the NICU to tell my story of "we just never seem to get a break." My daughter's 4 1/2 now, but I remember it all as it was yesterday. I should probably write it down for posterity to boot. I'm probably going to need a few typing sessions to get this in so I've already labeled this Part 1 in anticipation.

We'll begin with conception. I had surgery for a blocked left fallopian tube in July 1999. I had a feeling it was endometriosis. My mom and DH tell me that the doctor talked to them before the surgery and said he'd be out in about 15 minutes. An hour and a half later he came out and said he had never seen endometriosis so bad on a 28-year-old woman. They were all amazed I didn't have amazingly painful periods (I didn't).

After the surgery, they said they wanted to try to get me pregnant quickly with ovulation induction and IUI with my DH's sample (he could populate the world). The first cycle they learned I needed progesterone suppositories, as I got my period in my usual 21 days as I would without all the eggs popping. Oh, and I got overstimulated too, as I reacted too well to the shots. I just needed bedrest for a few days.

I got pregnant on the second round of shots and IUI, only to find out it was a blighted ovum 6 weeks along (no heartbeat), and had a miscarriage on Thanksgiving 1999. We then took December and January off. December for the holidays are hectic in my DH's large Irish-Catholic family, and January as DH had a business trip to Key West right when I would need my IUI, and I decided to go on the trip too.

So end of January into February we started the third cycle. My IUI was on February 2, 2000 at 1:30 PM. We later found out I was pregnant, but kept it to ourselves until we saw the heartbeat at 6 weeks.

I had the triple-screen bloodwork done as scheduled sometime around 15 or 16 weeks along. Everything was going great. I had even been feeling the baby doing flip flops already. It was a wierd feeling. I got a call from the doctor's that I had to come in for an ultrasound within 24 hours. I had a lot going on at work, and wasn't sure if that was possible. Then they dropped it on me. My MSAFP was 21.5. Normal is around 2.5. They said the baby was most likely either brain dead or had severe spina bifida. Man, I was pissed, considering I had been taking prenatal vitamins for over a year since trying to have her. We were also quite scared. I had been feeling the baby move! They couldn't tell me that there was something wrong!

We went in and had to talk to a genetic counselor first. She showed us pictures of what to expect to see of problems with the baby not moving or what spina bifida looked like. Then on to the ultrasound. I knew I was no doctor, but that baby looked perfect to me. We waited for the doctor to come in after the tech left. I cried so hard. The doctor came in and checked everything out. He said the baby looked perfect in every way, and said it must've been a lab error. I went to have my blood drawn again singing what my mom used to sing to me, "Why can't they be like she is perfect in every way!"

We had the blood work results back again. My MSAFP was still 18. Not good. I was told that it was either something they couldn't see on an ultrasound like kidney issues or I had cancer. They wanted to do amniocentisis. We had to decide if we wanted to take the risk.

I have to put the perfect little munchkin to bed now, so I'm going to try to get to Part 2 later tonight. I hope I'm not boring anyone out there.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Where to Live???

We're in a dilemma. We went to Landenburg, PA today, which is near our favorite Avondale, PA area, and found some really nice homes we'd like to move into. It's also in a great PA school district of Avon Grove. This throws a wrench into the move to NJ idea. It still would be really nice to move near Tom's family in NJ, but we really love PA. It would be a difference if I should continue to work in Wilmington at my current job, or maybe at Juniper. Or should I look for the Comcast job or another one in NJ. I think both of us are a little confused.

So now I'll sit back, enjoy my wine, and catch up on everyone's blog news. I'm sure everything will become crystal clear in the next few months.

BTW, does anyone get depressed on Sunday nights? I heard there is some kind of syndrome of depression the night before going back to work.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Round Two Plus More

Wow what a busy day! I woke up and got dressed, and started cleaning again. I did the following:
  • Vacuumed stairs
  • Cleaned powder room
  • Cleaned up around dog crate
  • Mopped kitchen floor
  • Dusted downstairs
  • Vacuumed downstairs
  • Sh-Mopped wood floors
  • Cleaned up the back yard dog piles
  • Dropped recycling off (we have voluntary recycling in DE)

In between I stopped to pick up my in-laws taxes (they use our accountant in DE) and took Phoebe to her ice-skating class. After I cleaned up the back yard, I took Phoebe for a spin around the block on her bicycle. She helped me with the recycling and putting it all in the right bins, and then we went to get Chinese take-out for dinner since Tom wasn't going to be home for dinner. I called over to his parents house and talked to him twice. I think he's getting frustrated that it's taking so long. The funny thing is he said that while his once niece and nephew are helping him, he prefers to have me help. The funny part is that whenever we're working on a project, he gets short with me and can be quite rude. I get quite mad at him about that sometimes. So I teased him and told him next time we work on something, he should be very kind to the help he likes.

The things Phoebe knows are funny. We walk into the Chinese food place and there are two statues of Buddha, a seated one and a fat jolly one. I asked her who was the statues of and she proudly said, "Buddha!" I found out a few months ago, she knew those kinds of statues were Buddha. So does she really need to do First Holy Communion in a few years? I guess we'll have to keep the grandparents from freaking out.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Break for the Night

So I cleaned up the upstairs pretty much. Tonight I did the following:
  • Changed the sheets
  • Started laundry
  • Ran dishwasher
  • Washed pots
  • Cleaned master bathroom
  • Cleaned Phoebe's bathroom
  • Dusted upstairs
  • Vacuumed upstairs

I will finish tomorrow morning before taking Phoebe to her ice skating lesson. Tom called to say he's going to stay overnight at his parents. They spackled the walls tonight. Tomorrow they will paint. We're trying to decide if I should drive over tomorrow afternoon, or if he should come back and get me so we have only one car to bring back.

So for now I'm enjoying a well deserved break. I opened up a bottle of Cristallo red wine from Va La Vineyards, my favorite place in the whole wide world. Anthony is truly a genious when it comes to small batch wine making. The link to their website is provided as of tonite on my blog. If you ever happen to be in the PA area and are in the mood to taste some good wine, check them out. You can't buy their wine anywhere except at their shop. They also provide local artesan cheeses, mustards, marinated mushrooms, honey, chocolates, and preserves to taste with the wine and purchase. It's really great you can taste everything, buy the wine you like (all of them!), pick up some cheeses, etc., and continue the party at home. Also the people there are super friendly. Anthony is there all the time, his parents and his wife's parents help out. Their little girl is gorgeous and divine (to borrow from Tertia). Oh, and the piano player and his wife are some of our closest friends. I'll be adding his website soon.

It's Time to Clean up the House

Please sing like Bear in the Big Blue House... BTW, I knew when Phoebe started watching that show I really liked Bear. I couldn't put my finger on it. Then after she'd been watching that show for a month, I finally saw the logo at the end, "Jim Henson Creations." I love anything Jim Henson or Muppets! So enough of that.

I'm eating dinner in front of the computer, and I'm letting Phoebe eat in front of the TV for a treat. Tom's at his parents helping his sister Darci who's pregnant and is moving in with their parents with her husband (he's OK with this really!) in order to save some extra money for a house in a year or two. Actually it works out for their parents too, as my father-in-law is out on disability because his aortic aneurism (sp?) has gotten so bad he can't work. Darci and her DH moving in will help out with their parents expenses.

So after I write this, I'm going to be gathering up all my cleaning supplies together and cleaning up this mess of a place. It's really not that bad, but it's not up to my standards. I was really trying to kick some butt at work this week, and I've kind of let some stuff go. I want to take care of it tonight, so it doesn't linger over the whole weekend. When Phoebe was a baby, I had a cleaning service come in every week. It was $70 a week! When I canceled the service when she was a year old, I kept trying to remind myself. I'm saving myself $70/week!!!! Off to do great things!

Thursday, April 07, 2005


Went back to my fabulous yoga class yesterday. I almost didn't go, as people were bugging me at my desk about work, and I was running a little late, but I forced myself to go, and I'm very glad I did.

I have balance issues. Both on the mat and off. I try. I really, really try. I've always been flexible. I've always had strength, but balance is my nemesis. Funny how your yoga practice can mirror real life. So, if you couldn't guess we did some balance work yesterday, and I was having trouble. I need to work on balances at home more, so I can get some extra practice. I was also having some problems with my elbows hurting from hyperextension. I asked Michael to help me a bit with that. I'm glad I did, because they stopped hurting after he showed me what I was doing wrong in trying to correct my overly flexible elbows.

I spent two hours after Phoebe went to bed last night working on my project plan for work. Then I baked brownies at 6 AM this morning for my meeting with the team at noon. They're really working very hard, and I'm trying to keep their spirits up. I've been trying not to take work home, which has been easy as I've had no motivation here. I think the only motivation I have is that I like Paul Drinkwater's team, and I want to make sure I keep them protected and motivated. Other than that, I just want to get out of this G-D company. I'm working on that.

Well, I have to go. A friend and his girlfriend that are both at the office are having issues. They are both using me as a sounding board. He wants to talk now. Gotta go.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Back to the Mat

I went to yoga class for the first time in four months. It's sad. My home practice is all I've had due to the yuckiness at work. I had enough. I need my lunch break on Mondays and Wednesdays. Plus I need all the soothing pep talks Michael gives as we lie in savasana at the end of class. I wish I could tape the things he says. I walk out of that hour feeling like a million bucks. Of course this morning, my muscles ache in places I forgot existed.

The cool thing is apparently I look different, hopefully in a good way. The first day of every quarter session, Michael walks around and says hi to all the new people. He came up to me yesterday and said, "And you are?" Then he say my face as I came up from laying out my mat, and he looked so happy to see me. And then Norma and Michael and I got into an interesting discussion around corporations and politics after class. In particular, how it's great that Howard Dean is in charge of the Democratic party, which will hopefully give them a shot in the pants. We need to start mobilizing the people to care about politics, not the corporations that have the money to make things go their way. We also talked about my trip to the Truman Presidential Library, and how funny I thought it was that even Truman was trying to pass a national health care plan. God forbid we have anything in this country that resembles socialism. Oh yeah, we discussed labels like that. Everything must have a label.....

Work still stinks, but I felt great after class. At least I can go to it with a calm head.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Another Resume Submission

I haven't heard from Juniper Bank yet about my interview last week, but I don't mind so much. I had a co-worker submit my resume to Comcast today for a Network Engineering Project Manager job. It's in their IP/Internet access side, so it could be very exciting and more of what I used to do before I started working in credit cards IT. She also wrote such a nice email to her old boss about me. I think I should have her write all my resume submission letters. She made me sound so good!!! Anyway, part of the job that would be nice is that it would be in New Jersey. I know I've fought it for years, but I think now that we have Phoebe it might be nice to move to NJ. Better schools, her cousins, and some of the communities can be very nice. Shopping in Marlton is also very nice, and they have a Toppers Spa there!!! Well, we'll see how it goes.

I was driving Phoebe to school the other day this week, and she said the funniest thing. She really thinks she's hot stuff. She told me that some guy in a truck next to us waived at her. She said she did wave back. I said, "He probably thought you were cute." She answered back, "Everyone thinks I'm cute!" I laughed but it's true. She is a cute kid, I just wish she wouldn't say it like that. Maybe I should start telling her what a wierd looking baby she was. She really was. I'm so jealous at these cute babies that Tertia and Julia have. My daughter was so wierd looking she was cute. Kind of like a muppet. We called her our little gelfling. That's those muppets in the movie the Dark Crystal. They had big brown eyes, small faces, and puffy hair that stood on end. Now her hair is long enough to fall down nicely. Her face got bigger too.