Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Pins and Needles

I went in for my first acupuncture session this morning. I really liked it. It was very relaxing, just as everyone says. Some of the needles being put in I noticed a twinge, others I never noticed they were being put in. The wierdest part was the one spot on my outer right calf seemed really sensitive. I noticed that needle being there even while I was lying back and relaxing. It wasn't painful. It was just a tingling sensation that it was there. Very strange. I'll have to see if that point is in The Infertility Cure and what it might mean. I'll be going back a week from today for follow up acupuncture.

I'm really glad I'm going this route. Yesterday, Tom and I were doing some gardening, and I noticed his allergies were really acting up. I didn't have a problem at all. It was really nice considering I'm usually the queen of seasonal allergies around here.

I'm going out to lunch tomorrow with Julie and Al from work. They are all moving to another facility this weekend, so this will probably be the last lunch we get to have together. Julie is also going back to her old company. Her last day is Wednesday of next week. So tomorrow we're going to a really nice Italian restaurant called Toscana. It's in the Trolley Square area of Wilmington, DE. I haven't been there in over a year, and I can't wait.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

My Interview

I got my questions from Sara a day or two ago. I haven't had time to work on my answers, so here they are now:

1. How would you spend your ideal evening? Other than of course having a candlelight dinner with Sting, I'd have to say having a dinner party at home with our good friends with lots of wine, anything my DH would cook for dinner, and creme brulee for dessert.
2. Do you believe that money, in any way, can buy happiness? I don't believe it can buy happiness. Lord knows I've been dirt poor and I've always been extremely happy. I do admit though to becoming a little spoiled of late, and I like how it makes up for the stresses in my life.
3. Name something you wished you could do in your life that you have not had time to do yet. Travel around the world, and not the touristy kind of travel. I like to travel in ways that you do what the locals would do. There are a lot of sights around the world I would like to see: the Golden Gate bridge, the Eiffel Tower. Other than that It's places my ancestors come from: Sicily, Ukraine, Germany. And lots of places I've read about.
4. Who is your closest friend and why? Not to be cheesy, but the truth is my husband. We've been through a lot more than any other friend, we stick together through it all, and we'll truly be friends forever.
5. What singer/band has music that evokes the most powerful emotions in you? I'm torn between the Beatles and the Pet Shop Boys. Both have songs that make me incredibly happy, as well as those that can make me cry. I have lots of memories with songs from both bands.

We'll be going to a kid birthday party today for son of friends of ours that we haven't seen much lately. It'll be nice to see them, and Phoebe and Nicholas do like to play together. They have a new baby that we haven't seen yet. I'm sure I'll be OK, though. I just finished reading Inconceivable and it was amazing. It definately gave me hope that I can do anything I put my mind to and that natural remedies can help bring back fertility, but that one of they key elements is to believe in yourself.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Calling all Bridget Jones Fans!

Found a great link while on lunch break. It's a story of Bridget and Mark's wedding.

http://www.geocities.com/ljhfanfic/venez1.html

I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Yum!!!

Good dinner tonight. Since Tom's out of town, I'm trying some new recipes. He gets to be a pain sometimes when I make something new. Most of the new recipes I've been trying are from Saving Dinner the Low Carb Way. Tonight we had Bistro Salmon, roasted rosemary potatoes, sauteed green beans with slivered almonds. Yummy! I'll make Tom try this next week when he's back in town.

I can't wait to get back to reading The Baby Trail (see prior posts for link on Amazon). I'm really enjoying this book. It is hilarious. I thought the part where she sets her friend up on a blind date with a rugby player friend of her husband, the blind date acts like a jerk, and then he shows up at her office to apologize wearing a Neanderthal-man outfit was too funny. I can't wait to see how it works out.

I also have to admit I spend an inordinate amount of time online these days trying to search infertility bulletin boards for women who've had good luck with TCM/acupuncture to get pregnant. Just trying to keep myself hopeful.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Weekend Update - Maybe TMI

I had an overall good weekend. Got the beginnings of AF on Friday. She officially arrived on Saturday. Not to get to personal, but I think the TCM herbs may be working. Things were a lot less clotty than they usually are. AF is usually not painful for me, but lots of clots and very heavy. It really hasn't been very heavy, and I've only seen a few small clots, but nothing as bad as it usually is.

Went to nephew's birthday party Saturday afternoon. Went out with DH to a friends on Saturday night. I think I had too much to drink. I felt very off all day Sunday. Sunday we went to the new house to pick out selections on tile, cabinets, etc. It was exhausting.

I think one of the best things was that I cleaned up a bunch of Hot Spots on Saturday morning, including lots of receipts and stuff to update the checkbook. And Sunday night, Phoebe got a bath, washed her hair, watched Charmed Season finale, cleaned my upstairs rooms, and exercised on the elliptical machine for 30 minutes. Let's see how much I can get done tonight, as Tom's out of town on business until Wednesday night.

I also was able to start reading, The Baby Trail. It really is funny. Kind of Bridget Jones tries to have a get pregnant and deal with infertility.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Ready for the Weekend

I'm so ready for the weekend! It's Friday afternoon. I'm here at work. Lots of things are at a standstill. I started getting AF this morning. It's 3-4 days early. That means this was a 23 - 24 day cycle. Hopefully my herbs will start kicking in the next few months and straighten that out. I've been eating lots of healthy foods: oatmeal at breakfast (no sugar with raisins), lentil and rice soup for lunch, and trying to make nice dinners at night. Other than the ice cream I've been allowing myself at night for family dessert and the 1-2 cups of coffee a day I'm still needing. I've been OK. I need to cut those out though.

Tom will be in NYC overnight for work. They're doing some kind of power thing out there. So it's just Phoebe and I tonight. I've planned for us to go grocery shopping tonight and then get lots of cleaning and clean up some papers at home. Hopefully it will be a productive evening. We're picking up Tom at the train station tomorrow at 7 AM. That'll get us up and moving early.

We're also going up to the builders to start picking out our selections for tile, carpeting, cabinets, and the like. It's a two hour appointment. Hopefully the selection will be to our liking.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Another Gilmore Girls Moment

It's amazing how TV (even the cheesiest of shows) can make you think about your life. The premise of the season finale of Gilmore Girls is that the daughter (sorry I haven't memorized their names yet, even though I'm loving this show) wants to quit Yale as a prominent publisher who she interned with for two weeks tells her she'd make a great assistant for someone, but that she wouldn't make it as a journalist. He also told her that he's really good at sensing these things.

I also had a moment like this when I was in college, but it did the opposite. It was my Engineering Advisor. He was also the head of the Electrical Engineering Dept, which was my specific major. I had to tell him that I had to work around 30 hours a week in order to support myself financially. He told me to quit school, work full-time, and go to night school to finish my engineering degree, because there is no way I wouldn't flunk out if I had to work. I ignored everything he said, studied my a$$ off, didn't have much of a life, and graduated with a GPA over 3.0. I think I proved him wrong.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

What Happened to My Gilmore Girls Mom?

I've become obsessed with watching the Gilmore Girls. I found the show with Phoebe one Saturday night that Tom was working on some stuff at his parents house. Apparently they have it on Saturday nights on the ABC Family channel. Of course, this is reruns, so I found the new episode time on Tuesdays at 8 PM, and tonight was the season finale.

I realized tonight why I love this show so much, but I think I always knew. The mom reminds me of the mom I had growing up. I'm not quite so sure what happened to her. She seemed to go away when I was a senior and high school and was leaving for college never to return. She became someone I didn't know that seemed to go against everything she ever told me.

My mom got pregnant at 16, except she did marry my Dad and they gave me a little brother when I was 7. She was always that cool mom that wanted more for me than she had. I was sent to private Catholic school for a few years. Then when that got expensive, they moved so I'd be in a better school district. My mom especially really stressed education. Told me I could be whatever I wanted to be. Why be a nurse if I could be a doctor. And above all things, I had to go to at least four years of college. Even if I was going to be a ditch digger, I would be the most educated ditch digger there was (these are her exact words). I wouldn't get married until I graduated and had a career and never get pregnant before I was married.

She so changed when I was leaving for college. She told me not to go. Told me to work for a year and then go to a local college as they didn't have any money for me to go. I had $2000 saved and only needed $600 for my freshman year (room and board) + books. I told her I was going to Philly anyway for college and I would handle it. I asked for money for every Christmas and birthday for books. I was dirt poor. I had a cute apartment, but had to scrimp on food and clothes. I look back now and have no idea how I did it.

I did all the right things. Got engaged to the best man ever in my last year of college. I already had a career as I went to a co-op school. Got a job, got married. Had a hard time having a baby. Gave her her first grand-daughter. She never comes to visit me. My Dad doesn't either for that matter. They are divorced, but they are friends, and apparently spend lots of time with my brother that still lives with my mom, has been in jail several times, was diagnosed as bi-polar but won't take his meds. She loves to make me feel guilty because I won't truck my whole family and car sick dog 3 hours to come and visit them. My mom can't possibly come to see me as she has to take my brother to work (he lost his license - DUI). My dad doesn't want to drive so far as he's afraid he'll fall asleep driving in the car. WTF????

What did I do so wrong by doing everything right? What happened to my cool mom who was just like the mom on the Gilmore girls wanting me to have everything she didn't have? I hope I don't lose that with Phoebe. If she has a family (or even just her) , moves far away and she asks me to come visit, I'll be there in a heartbeat, with bells on.

Do I Dare Hope?

My appointment with the TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) doctor went well yesterday. I now have lots of pills to take twice a day with my regular vitamins, and a powder to take three times a day. I'll go back in two weeks to see his wife who will adjust my herbs and do acupuncture. He indicated that his wife did work in an infertility clinic in China and that she has gotten many a woman pregnant here at their practice. So the question is ... do I dare hope? I think I should keep a positive attitude, it'll help the process.

We also talked about my other issues too, and he believes they are all related to the same underlying problems: low blood pressure, low blood sugar, bruising, fatigue, mild IBS, low sex drive. So the herbs I'm taking should be working on them all and not just my infertility. What a novel concept! Me as a whole person, and not just my parts.

I'll keep you all posted.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Pennsylvania Here We Come

We signed the papers to build the house in Landenburg, PA today. We went there yesterday, too to talk to the Mortgage guy a little more before we signed the papers today. After that the lady from the building company took us over to a little house party some of the neighbors were having. The neighbors that were throwing the party have a little girl one year older than Phoebe. They had a great time playing. The neighbors seemed really nice. A lot of either pregnant ladies or families with newborns. Maybe it'll rub off. After committing to spend that much on a house, it would be too funny if I got pregnant now.

I'm still working on negotiating the transition date for my new job. I sent an email Thursday night asking for a transition date of June 1 with providing consulting services to whoever I transition my work to for a month. Let's see what happens. I didn't get to find anything out on Friday as I was at a funeral for Tom's great-Aunt Elsie. She was 94. She was a very funny old lady. God-speed and Blessed Be, Aunt Elsie.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Much Better

Lunch was very nice. Walked to the Riverfront Market here in Wilmington, DE with two friends from work. We don't get to do that very often. Had v.v. good Thai food from one of the stands. We decided we should do this every Wednesday to get us over the mid-week hump. We decided to call in in our calendars the "Cure for Burnout" meeting.

I realized I forgot to mention what my Mother's Day was like. It was v.v. nice. Phoebe stayed overnight at her Aunt's on Saturday. Tom took me out on a "date." On Sunday, we picked up Phoebe and I got (3) Mother's Day cards from her in total: one from nursery school, one Tom helped her pick out, and one when she went shopping with her Aunt and cousins. Tom gave me the new Gwen Stefani CD. She rocks! Phoebe and I proceeded to sing "Hollaback Girl" and "If I was a Rich Girl" to Tom over and over on the way home. Lots of fun. I'm such a cool Mom.... for now.

Don't Know Where To Begin

I'll have two new joys in my life... We're signing to build the house in Landenburg, PA this Sunday. I also did accept the internal position last Friday. We're trying to work out my transition date.

I'm trying very hard to relax, but with these things going on it's getting very hard. I've been trying to read The Infertility Cure, but I wish I could speed through it. I want to know everything I can do now before I go in next Monday to Chrysalis. I guess I need to remind myself to slow down and that it is a process.

I might not go to yoga today to walk to the Riverfront Market with some work friends for lunch. I think I could use that right now.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

The Next Steps

Yesterday I called out sick and slept all day. I was so sick it didn't even affect my ability to sleep through the night. I went to bed around 10 PM. I woke up a few times, but was able to go right back to sleep. I still feel bad but I was good enough to go into work today.

Today I called about the house. We're still trying to find out if it is possible to put an inground pool in the way the land is situated. They still don't know. But then Tom and I called to extend our Home Equity Line of Credit and got some good news there. We're looking to do this for the down payment on building the new house, but if we're not sold on the idea of that one, we can pay off all our credit card bills and the car payments! That would free up a lot of our cash flow for other things we could do around the current house.

I also called Chrysalis Natural Medicine Clinic and made an appointment for 5/16/05. I've been reading The Infertility Cure and I'm really interested to see how I can improve my overall health as well as stop thinking of myself as infertile. This clinic is very close to my office. I've become very disenfranchised with the medical community. I'm not very crazy about specialists for everything and not looking at the whole person. Also how medical studies are never done for natural remedies as all medical studies are done by drug companies who cannot profit by something they can't patent. I've researched some natural remedies for my luteal phase defect and I've had good success with being a regular 28-day cycle with taking Chaste Berry Extract once a day and False Unicorn Root three times a day. If I just take the Chaste Berry, I go to around a 26-day cycle, but False Unicorn Root seems to help. I've also been taking oregano oil for sinus infections and bacterial vaginosis I've been having problems with. But somehow I feel I could be doing something more to improve my overall health. I'm willing to try other herbal remedies and acupuncture.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Everything at Once!

So I think we are really going to buy the house in Landenburg, PA. We went yesterday to review the estimate for all the options we want, and talked with the financing people again. We really think we can do this, and we think this is the best time to make this move. It's a little scary, but very exciting.

I'm still waiting to hear about both of the positions I've interviewed for. The internal position I probably won't hear about until later this week when the hiring manager comes back from vacation. I'm not sure when I'm going to hear about Juniper. It would be nice if I could be making a decision on that at the same time, but considering as the next set of interviews for Juniper haven't been scheduled yet, I don't know. We'll see.

Other than that, I worked most of the weekend. We had a lot of firewall rules that were being put in place at different stages over the weekend. Every time a change was made we had a conference call to test the changes. So I spent a lot of time on the phone with work over the weekend. I can't wait to get a non-computer operations job!