What Happened to My Gilmore Girls Mom?

I've become obsessed with watching the Gilmore Girls. I found the show with Phoebe one Saturday night that Tom was working on some stuff at his parents house. Apparently they have it on Saturday nights on the ABC Family channel. Of course, this is reruns, so I found the new episode time on Tuesdays at 8 PM, and tonight was the season finale.

I realized tonight why I love this show so much, but I think I always knew. The mom reminds me of the mom I had growing up. I'm not quite so sure what happened to her. She seemed to go away when I was a senior and high school and was leaving for college never to return. She became someone I didn't know that seemed to go against everything she ever told me.

My mom got pregnant at 16, except she did marry my Dad and they gave me a little brother when I was 7. She was always that cool mom that wanted more for me than she had. I was sent to private Catholic school for a few years. Then when that got expensive, they moved so I'd be in a better school district. My mom especially really stressed education. Told me I could be whatever I wanted to be. Why be a nurse if I could be a doctor. And above all things, I had to go to at least four years of college. Even if I was going to be a ditch digger, I would be the most educated ditch digger there was (these are her exact words). I wouldn't get married until I graduated and had a career and never get pregnant before I was married.

She so changed when I was leaving for college. She told me not to go. Told me to work for a year and then go to a local college as they didn't have any money for me to go. I had $2000 saved and only needed $600 for my freshman year (room and board) + books. I told her I was going to Philly anyway for college and I would handle it. I asked for money for every Christmas and birthday for books. I was dirt poor. I had a cute apartment, but had to scrimp on food and clothes. I look back now and have no idea how I did it.

I did all the right things. Got engaged to the best man ever in my last year of college. I already had a career as I went to a co-op school. Got a job, got married. Had a hard time having a baby. Gave her her first grand-daughter. She never comes to visit me. My Dad doesn't either for that matter. They are divorced, but they are friends, and apparently spend lots of time with my brother that still lives with my mom, has been in jail several times, was diagnosed as bi-polar but won't take his meds. She loves to make me feel guilty because I won't truck my whole family and car sick dog 3 hours to come and visit them. My mom can't possibly come to see me as she has to take my brother to work (he lost his license - DUI). My dad doesn't want to drive so far as he's afraid he'll fall asleep driving in the car. WTF????

What did I do so wrong by doing everything right? What happened to my cool mom who was just like the mom on the Gilmore girls wanting me to have everything she didn't have? I hope I don't lose that with Phoebe. If she has a family (or even just her) , moves far away and she asks me to come visit, I'll be there in a heartbeat, with bells on.


Gerah said…
It sounds like she wants you to live right near her, and that she's jealous you've moved on.

I've witnessed a lot of parents being that way.

Ugh. Sorry you're having a bad time.

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