Monday, August 29, 2005

Not This Month

I don't have too much time for a long post as I have to get to work, but AF showed up yesterday afternoon. Not that I expected it would work out this month anyway. Tom was at class when I ovulated.

I got a call from my mom last night from the hospital. Nan is doing a little better. She was quite delusional since the surgery, and they kept drugging her up to keep her from being violent. My mom believes they had her oxygen turned up too high and that is was CO2 narcosis.

Gotta run!

Saturday, August 27, 2005

No More Wine, Tom. I'll Just Have Some Water Now.

Which was the statement my Nan made to my uncle, using my husband's name, when she was coming out of the anestesia yesterday evening.

She was very nervous the night before and the morning of the surgery. I'm sure she was nervous the whole week. Apparently, she'd never been put under anestesia before, and she's 74 years old! She had some wine the night before at our house. My DH gave her her favorite VaLa Barbera red wine.

Nan did great through the surgery. The doctors said everything looked very clean on her lung. They removed the offending mass and some lymph nodes. She had a horrible time coming out of the anestesia. She was quite drugged up. It was like she was drunk. Slurring her words, smiling, saying she was happy it was over, and she was really, really tired. Her surgery started at 10:10 AM, she was in Recovery by 12:30 PM, but she didn't go to her room in the surgical unit until after 6:30 PM, as she was too out of it.

Today wasn't that great. She apparently was delusional in the middle of the night and pulled her IV out and stuff. They drugged her up more so that she would stay in her bed until she heals a little more. My uncle staying with her tonight to help.

I know she's really fine. We're just all a fiesty bunch. She didn't want to be there in the first place. As soon as she's feeling a little bit better, she'll be OK. Her color looks fine, and she's in no pain, except for her hiatal (sp?) hernia acting up as she hasn't eaten anything but ice chips. I think they were going to try to get some jello and ginger ale into her in between her sleeping, which is most of the time. She did eat some ice chips and then let up a few burps. I'm sure that made her feel a little better. I'm sure tomorrow will be better.

On the other front. I think I'm getting my period. Saw some spotting.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Sarcasm in Training

Jo had her baby! Go over there now and congratulate her if you haven’t. I’ll wait here….

OK, so another cute moment in the development of my daughter's sense of humor. We’re driving to her first eye doctor appointment yesterday and she sees a sign for a palm reader. It’s a sign of a big red hand.

“Mommy, what’s that big red hand for?”

“It’s a sign for a palm reader.”

“What’s a palm reader?”

“A person who looks at your hand and can tell you what’s going to happen in your future.”

“What’s going to happen to me in the future?”

“I don’t really know, dear.”

Pause in the backseat.

“I guess I’d have to ask her wouldn’t I, Momma?”

I have to admit I almost said that myself, but figured it would be rude to say to my daughter, so I bit my tongue. Glad one of us said it.

On another note, Nan, my mom, and aunt are coming tonight and we’re all going to the hospital together in the morning. I’m sure everything will be fine, but I’ll worry until it’s over.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Happy Birthday, Sweetie!

Happy Birthday to my dear, dear, DH. His birthday was really yesterday, but I was so busy with Phoebe making sure everything was nice for his birthday dinner at home I couldn't write. On the way home from work, we picked up a carrot cake (his favorite) from a local bakery he loves. Then we went to the mall to pick up cards, and last to the grocery store, for some salad greens and candles for the cake.

We had a fantastic dinner. Phoebe pretended (but we're not just pretending, Mom!) to be at a restaurant and she was the hostess/waitress. She made out menus for all three of us and made Tom wait in the foyer when he was ready for dinner so she could show him to the table. She served all the plates for dinner, poured drinks, etc. It was too cute. Obviously she was not pretending to be a bus person, because she wasn't interested in helping clear the table of the dishes when we were done!

Dinner was great. I impressed myself. It was my first time making homemade pizza that turned out good (even the pizza dough was homemade!). So here was our menu:

  • Home-made sausage pizza (whole wheat pizza dough from Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone - my favorite cookbook).
  • Cesear Salad
  • Vala Zeffarano white wine (I only had 1/2 glass - I'm in my two-week wait)
  • Carrot cake
We'll be having pizza again tonight. I'm going to go with a vegarian pizza this time. I think I'll saute up some mushrooms and zucchini to put on top. I did think it was ironic that I made the dough for a sausage pizza from a vegetarian cookbook. I went to her book because most of her flour recipes include whole wheat flour which I prefer to add too. Tom thought it was the best crust ever! I was v. v. proud of myself.
So not to make this all about me and Phoebe, but I have to admit Tom is the best husband ever. We've been married for over 10 years and it keeps getting better. We're going to have a very stressful year ahead of us, but I know we'll be so happy when we're settled in our new house and Tom starts reaping the rewards of his educational pursuits. I'd have to say we're even happy now with everything up in the air and getting lots of stuff moving in a forward direction. It's our time to shake things up a bit!

Friday, August 19, 2005

Still Wanting

So why did I like that PBS special in my last post. Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that I STILL WANT MORE BABIES!!! It was so cute to watch this baby in the video and the faces she made, and how cute she was. Of course while I'm watching it I'm remembering what Phoebe was like as a baby. She was also so cute, big eyes and smile. Remembering the firsts that probably only I would remember... the first smile because she knew it was Mommy that showed up in front of her (she had lots of smiles before that for other reasons), the first recognition of something I said (I told her something was behind her and she turned around and got it. Huge deal as she didn't even talk at the time. I didn't know she really understood things yet.), her first word "Doggy" (and there was one across the street), and the last I'll ennumerate asking to have her ears pierced before she was even two years old (she kept asking for a whole month before we did it).

I don't know if it's going to happen this month. It's not like Tom was around a lot when I ovulated, but I've heard of people getting knocked up when they only did it once that month, so stranger things have happened. I'm in the two week wait. Looks like I'm at 4 dpo right now, so 10 more to go before I even think about testing. I won't be crazy and test early this month like I did last month. I know I'll be kept busy anyway with my Nan's surgery next Friday and they just broke ground on our house two days ago (Yeah!!!). We'll probably be doing more painting and planning around our current house. Tom going to school this past week kind of put the kabosh on any progress on that front. I at least cleaned a lot last night and I've been keeping up with the bills and stuff.

The other thing that was nice last night is that I had started downloading some music onto the expansion card for my Treo. I got to reap the benefits last night when cleaning. It was like those iPod commercials, but me dancing around my house with a Windex bottle in one hand and a rag in the other....

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

He Used to Be a Filmmaker.

I saw this on PBS tonight. It was really cute. Very nice to see how a father relates to his baby daughter from babyhood to toddlerhood. His daughter is very photogenic too!

Update on Nan... We got to take her, my mom, and my aunt to my favorite place in Chinatown. I called my mom last night and she said it was the best Chinese food they ever had. Her surgery is scheduled for 26 August and she should be out of the hospital within a week. After that she'll be at a rehabilitation hospital for a bit and then she'll be having chemo, we're not sure exactly when. They are giving her a very good prognosis for a full recovery from the cancer, 75% with surgery alone, and 95% with chemo. We're all very happy.

Been Busy

Lots been going on sorry, I haven't been updating. Tom and his brother started finishing the basement. Tom will need to work on it some more when he gets back from school. Tom started his ExMBA program this weekend and they go for a week coming back this Friday. I went to a welcome barbecue where you were allowed to invite a guest, being a spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. Someone who is involved in supporting your educational pursuits. Phoebe stayed at her aunt's that night and I picked her up on Sunday.

It was very interesting having Tom back at school. He's learning a lot about himself. It was very sexy (don't ask me why, it just was)! It was funny one of the realizations he had. He told me he noticed he has to watch how he says things because he "has a tendency to sound a little arrogant and snobbish." I laughed as I always knew this and told him "he's always been my modern-day Mr. Darcy." He's been very nervous about the workload, the classes, his fellow students, etc. Which is very normal. I can't wait to be able to have a better conversation with him when he gets back as his mobile doesn't get a great signal where their classes/hotel rooms are.

As I've said before, I'm not putting a lot of hopes on getting pregnant this month. I think I ovulated yesterday, and he's been away at school since Saturday morning. Although we did BD in his hotel room on Saturday night before I went home. So we'll see, but I'll just be happy to have a normal cycle again. After this week, he'll just be at school every other weekend, all day Friday and he'll be back on Saturday evening. So he'll be at my beck and call every other month after this.

We have a new delivery date for our house. It's 28 February 2006 now. I'm pleased with that. I'd rather push it to spring. I want to make sure we have any bonuses we may get from work as well as having our taxes done.

I was really sick yesterday. I slept all day. Didn't even take Phoebe to school. She sat next to me on either my bed (morning) or couch (afternoon) watching PBS and coloring. She had a little cough too, so I think she enjoyed the quiet time close to me. We went in late today as I wasn't sure if I was going to, but once I started moving I was feeling a little better.

That's pretty much all that's been going on around here. I've been enjoying reading some of the debates on birth plans on my favorite blogs. Funny thing is I understand going in either direction. I'll have to make it another post on my views of the debate. Anyone who cares to know what my conception/gestation/birth experience was with my DD who is now four can find it in some of my older posts. I posted it in a few parts back in May or June of this year to have it saved for posterity. There were some complications with her development, so it had to be done in the hospital, but I didn't have an epidural, had to have an IV, they did do an episiotomy at the last minute, but in all I felt it was very "natural" as natural as I was going to get and still have my own piece of mind. I think I more didn't want the epidural because of my control-freakness. I wanted to get up and go at will. In all, I think for all of us as informed consumers of the infertility/baby-making world any decisions we make are fine, as long as the decisions are made by us and we don't feel like anyone is forcing us to do one thing or another. We all should be as in control of our own destinies as we can. Gee, maybe I don't need another post on that topic.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Updates

We fought with crown moulding all day Sunday, and we won! The house is coming together for putting it on the market, although there is still a lot to do. I'll be doing touch up painting trim in the family room, foyer, and steps to the basement. After that dries, we get to put curtains back up again in the family room and then we'll move the kitchen table out of the kitchen and start painting in there.

Tom starts school this Saturday, and he'll be gone all weekend and until the end of next week. This Thursday, my Nan, mom, and possibly Aunt will be coming to Philly to meet with the doctors that will do Nan's surgery to remove the cancer from her lung. Phoebe and I will probably leave work/school early to go meet them for dinner. Good news: all the other tests came back negative, so it doesn't look like the cancer has spread from her lung. She'll have surgery in about three weeks. After that, I believe they will still be doing chemo and she'll be in Philly for that as well.

I'm also proud of myself that yesterday I followed up on making sure we all had doctor appts made for the rest of the year: Phoebe's 5-year check, my annual GYN, and eye doctor. Phoebe will come to the eye doctor with us for the first time. Considering they have no idea when my eyes went bad, and I needed glasses desparately in 4th grade, I figured she should just go every year to make sure.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Too Much to Do

So my DH called me today that he's about to have an anxiety attack. I'm not sure why. We're just going through the following:

  • Getting our house ready to put on the market in September
  • Tom starting his Executive MBA at Villanova on August 13th
  • Breaking ground for the new house

I know it's only three things, but each one has a laundry list of tasks we need to complete. And I almost forgot. Tom will be turning 35 on August 22nd. I should tell him to expect a tumultuous year. I did tell him to relax that we were working on everything and gee isn't it nice things feel like they are moving forward.

I don't think this month will be our month, as Tom will be away at school when I'm ovulating. I don't think I really care. I'm just happy to begin having normal cycles. Is this where I can joke and act like I'm "planning" to get pregnant the following month like all those normal people out there? It would be pretty convenient, as the baby would then be due in June and Phoebe could take the summer off before she goes to Kindergarten, as I'll take the full 12 weeks off under FMLA. Ooohhh, do I think I can "plan" a summer off? How about a fervent plea to God. "Hey, God. Be nice to me after all this. I think I'll need a break for the summer." Oh wait, is being on maternity leave a "break?" I guess not.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Verdict Is In

Not this month. Temp dipped this morning and AF is here.

This is OK. Obviously the course of action I am following is regulating me with a normal cycle. I haven't had one on my own since my early twenties. Now if we could just do something about the backache I get as PMS. It's brutal.

I also had the nicest treat this morning. Phoebe crawled into my bed in the middle of the night and asked if we could cuddle. It was nice to fall back asleep with my arms around my little girl. She's such a sweetie.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

The Plan

So here's my plan to go forward. I'm not going to be testing until Friday or Saturday again. Maybe this baby is holding out for her father to come home from his business trip. Maybe I'm not really pregnant. Maybe I am pregnant, but this one's not going to work out. I'm OK with all possibilities. I'm amazed that TCM has gotten me this far. Granted I sort of believed it might, as my infertility (other than having endo in the past) is unexplained. But I always had short luteal phases. Even for my first round of OI/IUI trying to have Phoebe, they didn't put me on progesterone suppositories. They thought I wouldn't need it as I almost hyperstimulated. Ha, I got AF on day 21, baby! I didn't even get a pregnancy test that cycle. After that I was always on progesterone.

There's a part of me that wonders if I should call the doctor tomorrow and take a blood test, but then that would get me on the cycle of early ultrasounds and worrying. I'm really trying to be practical with this cycle. It's either going to happen or not. I would really like to try to be one of those women that it just happens for naturally, and their doctor doesn't see them until the 13th week. I debate with if I am pregnant if I should go back to my usual doctor, or if I should try The Birth Center here in Wilmington. The Christiana Hospital is so nice though, and they really did accomidate my wish for a natural delivery. We only did what was medically necessary. If I'm pregnant though, I want to enjoy this one. Plus, God (or Goddess) needs to be nice to me this time. I don't have time to trek all over with getting fetal MRIs and weekly Level 2 ultrasounds. I have a pre-schooler and a DH who's starting grad school this month to take care of.

What's Going On?

Temp dropping a little bit (98.1). FRED test still negative. Going to get a few more minutes of sleep.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

No Verdict Yet

I guess it's kind of a tie. My temp is still high today, no dip announcing the impending arrival of our friend, AF. I took a FRED today though and it was completely negative. I couldn't even say I saw a hint of a second line. Of course I got a pack with 2 tests. So.... if my temp is high tomorrow, I test again. Rinse and repeat until either AF or BFP show up.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Chillin

I'm trying to forget about if my temp will still be high tomorrow and if I'll test. I bought my first FRED since 2001. I've never gotten this close when I wasn't under the care of a RE.

So in order to forget tonight what may transpire tomorrow, I gave Phoebe a bath tonight, washed her hair, and put on a Disney Stich automatic bubble blower. She thought it was brilliant for bathtime fun.

Now I'm sitting in bed, watching Bridget Jones, and I'm going to clean out some emails. I'll let you all know the results in the morning.

Oh My God!

Sorry to take the Lord's name in vain, but I'm not sure what to do with this information yet. I've now made it to 12 days past ovulation with no dip in temperature showing AF's impending arrival. Actually this morning it jumped! I'm not sure if it's a fluke or what!!!! I think it it's high again tomorrow, I'm going to do the old POAS.

Also, Mom confirmed yesterday, Nan's lung cancer is malignant. They want her to have surgery, but they need to increase her lung capacity first. Mom, Nan, and probably my Aunt Debbie are going to come down on Sunday next weekend to visit the model home and go to the vineyard. I'm going to try really hard not to cry, as we're not telling Phoebe yet about Nan's condition. I don't think her brain could wrap around it right now. Phoebe does know what cancer is, and that you can die from it, but I don't want her to think now that her great-grandmother might die. Hopefully this will all work out.