Thursday, November 30, 2006

Cuteness Alert

Phoebe did the cutest thing last night when she was stalling to fall asleep in bed. I was downstairs and she called me to come back up. She sounded like she was trapped under something, so I came quickly... turns out she was just calling from under her blankets. First she asked me to kiss the palm of her left hand. Then she asked me to kiss the palm of her right hand. Then she took each palm and put them on the cheeks of her face, like she was pressing the kisses into her cheeks. Too cute!!!!

Well, my hair is officially red now. I got a different haircut too with some long sweepy bangs on both sides. Poor Tom, he's trying to get used to it. Phoebe of course loves it, because like me, being a girl is all about makeovers!!!!

I've really been loving reading fan fiction these days. My latest is under the Gone with the Wind section, but it's a changing/continuation of Scarlett, the sequel to GWTW that was done in the last decade or so. I read it twice and absolutely loved it. Both times I got it from the library. I really need to get my own copy, so I can read whenever I want. But I'm really enjoying this piece of fan fiction a lot too. Unfortunately the Bridget Jones' fan fiction section is not being updated. No new stories, no updates to existing. I've been toying with writing my first piece of fan fiction. I'd like to take the new Independant column she did of Bridget being pregnant, but change the results of the DNA test from Daniel Cleaver to Mark Darcy. No one wants Daniel to be the father anyway! BTW, I've never quite figured out how she found out from DNA testing before the baby was born? I know she talks about getting DNA from both Mark and Daniel, but how did she get the baby's DNA before birth - amniocentesis???? Ah, the mysteries of fiction! I shouldn't question, just write the way we all wanted that story to continue. I'm still thinking about it.

BTW, I haven't had any comments from anyone lately, not even my mother! What's up with that? I'm starting to feel like Bridget's answering machine.

OK, if I want anyone to comment, answer me this... are you a Beatles or a Rolling Stones fan. Most people fall into at least one of those. If you are a Beatles fan, do you prefer their earlier albums or the more psychadelic later phase? BTW, I'm a Beatles later phase fan. I love the earlier stuff too, but if I'm pressed my favorites albums are Sargent Peppers and Let it Be.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I was really good today with my diet. Someone had pizza for a lunch meeting today and they put the leftovers in the breakroom. I had already eaten my vegetable/barley/tofu good for you soup, but it was so tempting!!! All that cheese and bread.... I went back to my desk and had a cup of tea and two dates. What will power! And still no coffee!!!!

But I hate the two week wait. I know we all do, but I'm going a bit crazy. I think I need to really try to focus on other things - like work and Phoebe, but it's very hard.

Phoebe was funny putting her to bed tonight, she was seriously stalling and she called me back in her room to ask me a question, "Why do we call a blanket a blanket and other things like a purse a purse?" I gave her a quick answer of, "If we didn't label things, how would we know what each other were talking about?"

I am doing something, by the way, to give me some excitement that probably isn't great for infertility. I'm seeing my hair stylist on Thursday evening and going completely red. I'm thinking Rose from Titanic red. I know when I have red hair, my eyes look much greener. Phoebe tells me my eyes are green already. She doesn't think they are blue at all. Well, if I go through with it, I'll have to update my blog picture, as I won't look much like the pic at all anymore.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Two Week Wait

It's official. I'm in the two week wait. I wasn't necessarily a saint over the Thanksgiving weekend when it comes to my diet, but I didn't slide completely off track. I only had a half a cup of black coffee at my mom's on Friday. I did have wine on Thanksgiving and over the weekend. I'm going to try my darnest not to have any for the remainder of the month. At least I've given up on weeknights after work. That's movement in a positive direction.

I'm going to try hard to be calm and peaceful the next two weeks and not go crazy in anticipation. I did end up reading the posts I have on Phoebe's birth. Reading about the night before my water broke and how she was kicking trying to find her exit makes me nostalgic about the past and how I'd like to feel that again in the future. I also did look it up and if we are pregnant this month, I'd have an August/Leo baby. DH is a Leo and it's awesome. I can't help but think I'd like to have a boy that's a Leo and looks just like DH. We'll see how it goes. I'll just sit back, drink my red raspberry leaf tea and hope for the best.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Phoebe's First Report Card

We had our first Parent-Teacher Conference last night and her teacher gave us her first report card. I let out a big sigh of relief when we left. She's doing great. Her teacher told us she's ahead of where she should be for both reading and math and that her writing is coming along fabulously. No issues with her getting frustrated or playing with others. She is however a bit of a hypochondriac about any little issue and likes to go to the nurse's office. I think she likes the freedom of walking around the school by herself. We talked to her about that.

I was also really happy yesterday because in the morning, Phoebe told me for the first time (unsolicited too!) that she loves school. I really was getting worried, because she never really told me that. She always seems to act like going to school is too much work and she'd rather be playing outside. I think maybe now that she's comfortable in the new school, she's ready to enjoy all the new things she's learning.

She really has been funny lately. All kids seem to like to get their parents attention when the grownups are talking in the car and they are in the back seat. Some kids do it by acting bad. Ours shows off the things she knows, "I can spell Canada! C-A-N-A-D-A!" Which, BTW, she figured out on her own from me telling her "CANA" was part of the word Tropicana on the orange juice bottle she was drinking. She then figured out adding "DA" would make Canada. My other latest favorite, "I can count backward from 100! 100, 99, 98, 97, 96 ...." I guess we shouldn't complain.

On another topic, have I mentioned how much I love pitted dates as a snack at my desk. It's like a little piece of candy to me. And it's on my approved foods to eat!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

More Good Progress

We're on CD8 at the House of Joys. Tom's at school, so I let him borrow my car when he went yesterday so I could take his car for it's badly needed oil change. Instead of sitting at the dealer and waiting, we walked up the street and relaxed at my favorite (and only that I know of) juice bar. Phoebe had a berry smoothie and I had a cabbage, celery and parsely juice. I also had my first shot of wheatgrass. I am a wheatgrass virgin no more. I have to admit it wasn't that bad. We then went next door to the natural food co-op and picked up some supplies and Phoebe's favorite breadsticks. By the time we walked back to the car dealer, both of us with juices in hand and me with a box of food, our car was done. We must've been quite a sight!

Yesterday my False Unicorn Root came in, so I started taking that three times a day in some water. I've taken that before and it didn't work, but I wasn't doing all these healthy diet changes. Still no coffee. I think that's been almost a month now of no coffee. But I did have a glass of red wine at my friend's house last night. She had a baby two months ago and her DH had a rehearsal to be at (he's the musician I refer to on my site), so we had Girl's Night at her house! I brought over some frozen pizza, pringles for Phoebe and tortilla chips for us. I know it's not my healthy diet, but I'm allowing myself splurges every now and then.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Quite Proud

I've been very good. Still no coffee or dairy products. Taking all my vitamins. I started back up on my Flylady routines last night. It was nice to wake up to a clean kitchen sink this morning. I also started up a load of laundry this morning, emptied the dishwasher and cleaned up the breakfast dishes. I left the kitchen as clean as it was last night. V.g.

I'm really starting to enjoy my trips to the organic food store on my way home. Their produce selection is really quite good. I've started cleaning up Phoebe's lunch and snacks we pack for the day as well. She's only allowed to take one fruit roll up or packet of Yogos. The rest must be carrot sticks or some kind of fruit to go with her lunch. I'm trying to make sure I'm keeping her natural hyper state a little more low-key. Trying to cut down on her sugar consumption. Of course the fruit and veggies she's taking are organic, so that's good too.

She was so cute in the car ride home last night. She started by telling me about her "Rules for Your Body." They were things like "Don't watch too much TV" and "Eat healthy foods" and my favorite funny one "Don't hurt yourself on purpose." I asked her what the last one was about and she told me that her friend Tate hits himself in the head with blocks to hurt himself on purpose and he shouldn't do that. Then she started telling the news in the back seat of the car. It started with a weather report, then the traffic report and then some informational pieces like "You can't just water dirt and expect something will grow. You have to put a seed in the ground in order to grow something." and another "Birds need to eat worms. If they can't find enough worms to eat, they will die." I stopped with some comments and she asked me to be quiet, she was doing the news. So then I asked her if she wanted to be a news anchor when she grew up. She said "No, I just want to do my kid's news show now." OK.

I was also really good this morning about not losing my patience with her. It takes a lot of patience. She has a habit of getting lost in her thoughts, doesn't pay attention to what I'm asking her to do and she always wants to try to turn on the TV. I was pretty good about it and firm. I also didn't lose my cool when she started having a tantrum about some clip she wanted to put into her hair. I knew it wasn't necessary for her hair and after asking if she wanted me to put it in (NO!!) and going about my business to see if she would figure it out on her own, I calmly had her hand it to me, I put it away and told her to feed the dog. I'm quite proud of myself today.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Keeping the Faith

No, I didn't get pregnant this month; however, I'm feeling very hopeful about the changes I've made and will be sticking to them. No coffee, take my vitamins/supplements, drink my herbal teas, eat healthy with lots of organic vegetables and fruits, no dairy, avoiding wheat and alcohol. My period was a lot different this month. No real "spotting" for a day or two before my period like I used to. There were only a few clots in my blood this month. It seems smoother and brighter. Sorry if TMI, but that's what I'm here to track.

Also I found out DH has still been reading my blog and he knows were officially "trying." He seems to be OK with it. Probably knowing that I don't want to go crazy this time, just be healthy. I'm also glad to be on this journey officially again. I really think Tom would be great with another child. We've already agreed it would be nice to have a son.

We went to the zoo on Saturday with another family we're friends with. They have a daughter Phoebe's age and a two-year-old son. They are really great people. It was really cute the few times Tom picked up their son (Because their son asked him to! It was too cute!), they were deep in conversation talking about trains and the animals. Phoebe had a great time. She had her face painted like a leopard. I'm going to see if I can post the pics tonight of her face. She totally loved it. It was that evening after we put the kids to bed and we were talking with this couple that it came out that Tom knew were officially trying. He more or less asked, but then admitted he read my blog. So let's all keep our fingers crossed for this month!

Friday, November 10, 2006

Don't Think So

Temp dropped this morning. I guess yesterday was a fluke. I'm sure I'm on the right track with the changes I'm making. Just gotta keep moving forward.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

???

I had a temp spike this morning. Spot has gone away. Do I dare hope?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The Good, The Bad, and Those That Won't Stop Fidgeting

Things are going well. I haven't had a cup of coffee in quite some time. I think I tried to have a Pumpkin Spice Latte on Sunday, but it wasn't from Starbucks or Borders, and it tasted like shit for lack of a better term. I threw it out after a few sips. I really thought it tasted like bug repellent. Sounds tasty, eh? I'm still working on giving up alcohol too, but I only had one martini on Saturday night and nothing since. I've been taking all my new vitamins and making sure I'm not skipping. I've added DHEA (low dose 25mg/day), B-vitamin supplements, L-arginine, and 60 mg zinc/day from 3-20mg zinc lozenges.

My lower back is killing me. I'm sure it's PMS, but that is no excuse. I've been working to get rid of this annoyance. Granted it's not as bad as it used to be ages ago, but I'd like to be pain-free. I was most of the month, and considering I'm due the end of the week, I'm thinking its the PMS backache. I've been spotting a little bit yesterday and today as well. Gotta love my friend Spot .... Not. I also would really like a latte right now. It's a rainy, dreary day and I'm sitting here working at my computer. I feel a little better though now that I admitted it in writing. Maybe now I can settle down to a cup of tea.

Those that won't stop fidgeting would be Phoebe. She's driving me crazy. She can't sit still to eat. Breakfast and dinner are a challenge, because she jumps out of her chair all the time. I think it's that she's tired rather than not getting enough energy out during the day. She really can't sit still when she's tired. It's almost like if she does, she'll fall asleep. She also keeps breaking down about things ALL THE TIME. The tears happen constantly about things she's frustrated about or lost or whatever. A few minutes later everything is fine. I try to remind myself these things are cyclical. She'll do this until I can't take it anymore and then everything will go back to normal. That's how she's always been since birth. If she is tired, it's not for lack of sleep, but I think she may need more than she's getting due to a growth spurt. She's eating constantly. We'll see how it goes. About now she should be stopping, as I'm going out of my mind!!!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Please Vote Today

To all my US citizen readers, please vote today! I don't care what your political beliefs are, but we are very lucky to live in this country and participate in the decision of who our leaders are. I'm off to vote now!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

I Was a Bad, Bad Girl

And it felt sooooo good. I love Girl's Night! BTW, Girl's Night around here is the Friday nights DH is at school and Phoebe and I buy junk food, watch movies, and later she get's to sleep in my room. Yes, my life is very exciting. Last night we got frozen pizza, pizza rolls, potato chips and cheese popcorn. I had some of everything and made myself a mango martini. Unfortunately for my trying to not have alcohol, DH found these yummy martini mixers, raspberry, cosmo and mango. So I let myself have a reprieve from being a saint and feel rejuvinated again this morning. I sit here drinking my green tea, in the kitchen, on my newly-working wireless network. I'm going to run some errands today with Phoebe and clean the house. Things are looking good!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Taking Charge is Going Well

Things are going very well with Operation Taking Charge. I've done some research on some additional supplements I should take, and I'm going to put together a menu plan for me next week on what foods I should be eating - no wheat or dairy. I'm not big on sugar to begin with, but I will stay away from the leftover Halloween candy. I've been drinking green tea again in the mornings instead of coffee. I've been away from coffee for 14 days now and it feels good. I have had a splurge of one cup maybe once or twice, but I've usually only half finished it. This morning I did allow myself a 1/2 decaf cup, but didn't really enjoy it like I used to.

Also last night I not only did the bills, I fixed our wireless network!!! We can now leave the study to use our laptops!!! And it supports more than one laptop at a time!!! This is very exciting. We might get a repeater for the upstairs hallway to extend the network even farther for us. I'll be able to blog and read emails from bed!!!

Tom's at school tonight and Phoebe starts gymnastics tonight. She's very excited. Can't wait!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Taking Charge

That's it. I've had enough wallowing. It's take charge time. I think I've been fighting the fact that I know I really want another child. I've been trying, but only half-heartedly to have another. I think I haven't been fully committed because I know how crazy and stressed out I was when I was trying with the doctors. I hated the weight gain, the hormones, hating sex, etc. But I know a lot more now. I'm in tune with my body more, even if my temps are all over the chart right now. I know something is not right and needs to be fixed. I believe I can fully commit myself to getting pregnant again without losing myself, gaining a ton of weight, and isolating DH and I from our friends.

So with that in mind.... what are my passions?

1. My family - I love DH and Phoebe immensely. I want us to have a fabulous life together. And I'll state it. I want our family to grow!!!! We have more love that we can all share.
2. My friends - We have a very supportive network of friends that I want us to continue to spend time with.
3. My work - I really do love what I do and find it quite rewarding.
4. Yoga - I love the way I feel when I get to spend more time on the mat. It calms down my mind like nothing other.

There are things that I have been doing already to increase fertility and I need to understand that I'm in a much better place than I was after having Phoebe:

1. My chiropractor has practically eliminated my hip and lower back issues. He is awesome!!! I have always thought when going through infertility treatments that I couldn't get pregnant with the lower back issues I had. I knew it was stifling my lower torso of my body.
2. I have officially given up coffee again recently and this time it's going to stick. I am going to give up my precious wine too!
3. I have the tools I need from reading Inconceivable and The Infertility Cure. I will change my diet and my lifestyle to follow these. I may even take up juicing. I'll write more about these as we go.
4. I will make some modifications to my herbs that I'm taking and add False Unicorn Root to my protocol.
5. I will contact the new acupuncurist and find a way to handle the expense.
6. I will discuss this all with Tom that I want to officially try for another child and that this is my intention. I need to have this completely in the open. After a few months of cleansing my system and de-stressing my life, if we don't get pregnant, we will look at another infertility doctor in this area that I know of, but while continuing the diet, stress-relief and acupuncture. If I knew then what I know now, I think it would've worked last time. I will discuss with Tom that I don't want this to consume my life, but want to have fun and not lose ourselves in the process.

I'll keep you all updated on how things are going. I really feel like today is a turning point in how I've been feeling.