Feelin' So Good

I'm starting to feel more hopeful than ever that I will one day be pregnant on my own, without ART. As discussed in a previous post, even though my last cycle was a little messed up, my acupuncturist and I decided to stay the course and see what happens this month. I have to admit I've been a little worried, as my pre-ovulation BBTs have been pretty high for me (around 97.7 degrees). However, yesterday AM we started to turn a curve. My temps started going lower and today continued that trend. I can't wait to see if I ovulate on day 14 or if for some reason it goes longer.

The main reason I'm feeling so good, is that on Monday at yoga class, I actually got a vision of me being in class pregnant and felt that it would happen sometime soon (and it wasn't because there was anyone pregnant in class to make me feel that way). But I felt so strong, young, and competent. I didn't have that old, crone, infertile feeling that usually pervades me. And I'm not saying that if your infertile that you're old. It's just that I think some of my unexplained infertility is psychological, which is something Julia Indichova talks about in her book. I know sometimes I look at my life and feel so old, like the new-ness of everything is gone. That's why even if I don't become pregnant, it won't bother me. One of my goals is just to remember that I'm young and vital. Some women don't even get married until they're my age. This feeling has persisted the last few days, so I'm going with it. I feel quite rejuvinated.

Comments

Mandy said…
What a beautiful post. Very well said and the feelings coming through are empowering!
Anonymous said…
Glad you found some peace and serenity.
Emily aka madmommy
cat said…
I'm 36 and feel like I am 25 sometimes. You are far far far from old.

Positivity can only help your journey. Hope your visions become real.