So I'm getting good at hearing the news that others in my life are pregnant for the thousandth child while I'm still looking for a second child and maybe my first without at RE involved. On Sunday, my BIL called and talked to DH. His wife is pregnant, with their third child no less. I think I took the news very well, other than the thoughts in my head of "why not me?" As well as thinking who else is left in my life to say their pregnant like the lady who sits next to me or my hairdresser, because at this point, Phoebe now has 3 more first cousins that will born in the next 9 months. The next of which is in about two weeks. At least I'll have more babies to hold until they start crying.... It is nice to give them back when they cry.
The more I work on my personal development, the more I realize I need to stop listening to and changing the negative things I tell myself in my head. I'm also noticing the older I get the more the negative things I hold as beliefs about myself are not true. This reinforces that I should second guess the other negative beliefs I hold inside ... maybe those are not true either. Here are a few things I've realized are not true: I need help to put air in my car tires - This was one of the first things I learned as my husband had to move to Colorado for work. I did this at the Wawa up the street where the machine will stop and beep when your tires are at the right pressure. I also learned and committed to memory that the pressure you want your tires at is inside your gas cap, something I have to open at least once a week. This was something that was super easy to learn to do and had me zipping along the roads in a few minutes without the anxiety...
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Emily aka madmommy