State of My Union

So I'm doing OK. I'm actually doing great considering everything going on. I'm actually thinking if we get the official on Monday that this isn't going forward, I'd like to do some serious detoxing of my system. I will not be downing a big glass of wine or coffee after the bad news. I've come this far without that stuff in my system, I'd like to let it continue.

I'm also doing great because even though DH and I had a rough conversation Wednesday night ("Are you sure we're not playing God" my response "God helps those that help themselves" - thanks Mom for that quote, I use it often) we had a good conversation this morning. He brought it up that if we find out on Monday that this won't work, he just wants to know what the game plan is and when can we try again. I almost kissed him massively, but I stopped myself because he was driving. I'm glad to know that he's as committed to this as I am.

I'm coming back later to add that the baby shower went great. They were totally surprised and I think they liked the gifts. I have to admit I had a lot of fun shopping for them.

I'm going to leave you all today with the lyrics for one of my favorite songs. I'm not gay like it indicates in the song, but I can so relate with the feeling the need to push things along in life and sometimes it's alright to just trust the will of the way. Lord knows, my plans for my life have been in pieces for quite some years now.

It's alright forty days of rain my skin stretched out from the growing pain
I'd be nice to have an explanation, but it's alright
And it's alright if you hate that way, hate me cause I'm different, hate me cause I'm gay
Truth of the matter come around one day so it's alright
I look at this lifeline stretched way all across my hand
I look at the burned out empty like a plague across the land
And for everything I learn there are two I don't understand
That's why I'm still on a search through the weather strewn church I'm doing the best
I can and it's alright
And it's alright though we worry and fuss, we can't get over the hump or get over us
It seems easier to push than to let go and trust but it's alright
When we get a little distance some things get clearer
Give em the space our hearts grow nearer I ran as hard as I could and still ended up here
but it's alright I look at this lifeline stretched way all across my hand
I look at the fires of hatred burning up the bounty of this beautiful land
I know I'm small in a way but I know I'm strong
And it's my thirst that brought me to the water when I give it all up then she carries me on and it's alright
Yeah it's alright
And it's alright though I feel afraid my plans in pieces my plans mislaid
It's the will of the way the will of the way the will of the only way
that could have brought me here today and it's alright.

Comments

Trace said…
"Are you sure we're not playing God"...someone else on another blog said to ask that person if they would feel that way about getting chemotherapy or a heart bypass. I thought it was a very good answer.
Heather said…
Yes. I agree completely. It also comes from some of his concerns of some of the health issues in his family. He has a lot of genetic diseases in his family, mostly autoimmune diseases. He himself has rheumatoid arthritis, though he's not currently admitting it. There's always a possibility that our daughter could be diagnosed with Lupus when she's a teenager, but I'm willing to take that chance. It does run in his family, so what?
Martha said…
I'm glad to hear you are doing okay, even great. I've been thinking about you all. Beautiful song, thanks for sharing. You and leo sound like you are a great team. ((Hugs))
Rumour Miller said…
Praying for you.