Unsure

I'm unsure what today's title is. There's a lot of things going on in my mind. I cleaned out our emails tonight. Haven't really done that since we got back. There were lots of emails about our friends that just had a new baby three days before my birthday. It's their second child, and I'm really happy for them, but in a way I feel a little jealous. They had announced this pregancy when Tom and I had gotten the negative results of our last IVF. In a way, I feel we should've been in their shoes. They haven't really had a good marriage, although it seems like it's getting better. Their first child was a compromise. We didn't think they'd ever have any more. They complained about infertility. Obviously we were more infertile, as they got pg just by monitoring temps and were going to try Clomid if that last month didn't work. Ha!

Any way, other updates are I have interviews at Juniper Bank on Friday. I'm telling my company I need the day off as my daughter's school is closed. What they don't know is that Tom will be watching Phoebe, and I'll be down the street from where I work now trying to find a company that will appreciate me.

Work has been hectic. Even though I'm unhappy, my professionalism still shines through. I'm doing the work of four people and trying to get more work done than we did in the last two years getting ready for the TSYS conversion in 4 months to be ready for the merger of the systems with Chase.

So I will now go to bed, where my cutie pie, Phoebe, is sleeping in my bed as her dad's out of town on business. I'll get to cuddle up to her and get rid of my nasty green monster from the first paragraph. Because no matter if I can't have any more, I still have the cutest, smartest, best daughter I could ever have, and I am so grateful for her.

Oh, by the way, I had a nice phone call tonight from Tom's sister. She was watching Phoebe while we were out of town, and took her to a wedding shower she had to go to. Nicki said that she got lots of compliments on Phoebe's manners and how nicely she played with all the other children, including one of the children that some of her cousins won't play with because she has seizures sometimes and that makes her different. The mom of this little girl was so happy that someone was so interested in playing with her. That's my girl. Always trying to make everyone feel included. Glad to know she follows the rules we set for her even when we're not around.

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