I want to admit here publicly that even though we've been trying for another child for many years now, I've secretly been scared if we succeed. I mean, Phoebe is 8 years old now and so independent. There haven't been sleepless night and diapers in our household for quite a long time. I know Leo agrees with me, because he's more vocal about his nervousness of going back to babyhood, but I haven't voiced my concerns too much because I've been so gung-ho about getting to the successfully pregnant part.
But reading the blogs of others with babies and toddlers has gotten me excited to experience that again. The wonder, the newness of everything to them, the first smile the first wave goodbye, the way their whole body shakes when they are so excited to see you (Phoebe is quite blaze when we show up. It's not that exciting anymore. Unless she's been at her grandparents for a week. Then she's excited to see us.). I'm really hoping Tuesday shows an excellent hcg level and that the following tests will all be great and on target. I really want nothing questionable. I think I deserve that from the universe, don't you? Three miscarriages are just unthinkable sometimes, but I've been through them all. I want to be able to start looking forward to when the baby (babies?) are here and getting to know him/her/them.
BTW, I won't be testing at home, because I've had two hcg boosts after the embryo transfer so I'm really afraid I'll get a false positive. I'd rather wait to hear what the lab sees as an actual count. I've also named our three embryos so I can talk to them: Paige, Piper and Leo2. Paige and Piper - the other two sisters from Charmed and Leo2 as he's also a Charmed character (their white lighter and Piper's husband) also because my Leo (not his real name) is a junior and we're still thinking about using his name and III. If we do that, we might nickname him Trey.
But reading the blogs of others with babies and toddlers has gotten me excited to experience that again. The wonder, the newness of everything to them, the first smile the first wave goodbye, the way their whole body shakes when they are so excited to see you (Phoebe is quite blaze when we show up. It's not that exciting anymore. Unless she's been at her grandparents for a week. Then she's excited to see us.). I'm really hoping Tuesday shows an excellent hcg level and that the following tests will all be great and on target. I really want nothing questionable. I think I deserve that from the universe, don't you? Three miscarriages are just unthinkable sometimes, but I've been through them all. I want to be able to start looking forward to when the baby (babies?) are here and getting to know him/her/them.
BTW, I won't be testing at home, because I've had two hcg boosts after the embryo transfer so I'm really afraid I'll get a false positive. I'd rather wait to hear what the lab sees as an actual count. I've also named our three embryos so I can talk to them: Paige, Piper and Leo2. Paige and Piper - the other two sisters from Charmed and Leo2 as he's also a Charmed character (their white lighter and Piper's husband) also because my Leo (not his real name) is a junior and we're still thinking about using his name and III. If we do that, we might nickname him Trey.
Comments
Really cute nicknames from Charmed, love the Trey idea.
Best of luck with your beta and may you have a calm and restful weekend.